Classic workshop tech joke

We got some siao track car owners, I think got no life one la, half the time you find them on sepang, while the other half you see them attacking corners at pasir gudang. The track also never offend them before but, alot of people like to vandalise the wall and worse still, take their cars and piang the CB walls in Gudang.

I was thinking of these track car I've tuned and one of them is our dear red Vios with one of a kind suspension system. Of course la, with the amount of time and effort spent tuning the suspension system on this car, if you still don't get it right, you can squat on the parapet wall of Blk 123 potong pasir ave, put 2 hand together and leap off the building.

This vios owner have been practising on this car for a long time and since the engine, torque and powerband is still the same, he is consistently trying his consistent ride and improving on his skills and timings on track. CB, if I give you a car that breaksdown half the time, and 90% of the time, you're in-out workshop, I bet your skills will be stagnant.

Most of our race junkies like Alan keeps on practising on that "x" kg of torque and "y" bhp at "z" rpm for weeks and you bet their skills and confidence will increase over time. During which nothing in the engine and turbo kit is modified and should deliver a reliable and constant performance. With practise, you see our racers winning.

Eh, there was once, I was tuing car, got 1 cb who kept following us for tuning. Fark, this brudder's head is damn big. Really damn big lor... and he put it beside my head while tuning and staring at me laptop. OMG! There was once I got a shock when I turn my head and see him next to me... Imagine a big head sitting at the back seat sticks his big head next to yours while you tune the car.... CB, I told him please... stop sticking head beside me... damn irritating.

He didnt listen.... Hiaz.

Ok, we know one fella who took a GT28 size turbo and ask dear sam to put it into his vios. After we finished laughing at the joke, we realised he was serious. Eh, where got people so stubborn one... cb, tell you cannot still dun listen, and insist sam do it, customer big fark... hahaha... cannot!!

"Eh, Sam, I buy this dog(turbo) hor, can help me teach him to Mieow ?"

sam: "HAHAHA!! CB, you damn funny lor....hahahaha"

"Eh, Sam, I am serious... I want this dog to mieow"

sam: "Huh? hahahaha.... ok, you fark off one corner and fark the spider on the wall. I not going to teach your dog to mieow."

How can use soooo big turbo one??

dissapointed owner went to MK grazing... I think they are famous for this...

"Eh, big-head, I buy this dog, can help teach him to Mieow??"

big-head: "Hmmm.... can. But, I have this dog, it is bigger and better than your dog."

"Really?" **got hope liaoz **

big-head: "Yah! Of course! and I can teach this dog to Mieow Mieow damn farking loud. Louder than sam's powervalve. muahahaha"

"You steady la. I went to sam's workshop, they say cannot, not after laughing their ass off. The tuner also CB one... say I go fark spider on the wall..."

After weeks of modifying the car, it ended up running 0.8 bars of boost, full boost at 5000 rpm, with forged piston, forged conrod, and its slower than most cars on the road, kenna tear up by my 0.6 bars vios on track. Go 40 tiang lose big time. My vios fren asked him to look for better option....

After weeks of trying to teach the dog to mieow, the dog died. Dog don't understand why people teaching him to mieow ... hahahaha... Instead of embarassing itself, it died to save his pride. Mieow loud loud... cb Mieow!... MIEOW!! die better la.

Yup. In reality, the MK grazing vios engine gone already. Together with its pride, pistons and cons...

Then lately, I found out the tuner is actually the big head who is trying his luck. He also took his cell phone and snap pictures of the powervalve designs in sam's office. Really cb. Not say sam's design damn good la, really so farking good meh?... You just need to buy a cat and it will automatically Mieowwwww......


This is a classic workshop tech joke.... only old people will enjoy...

kudos to our red vios tracky.... timing improved.

Coming soon

Ok... I'm leaving myself a note here...

Stock wrx, totally LTA compliant type, boost up and basic reflashing
Euro R NA on methanol
Suzuki swift sport turbo charged on methanol
WRX 2.5L with Sumo turbo going for 600 bhp
1.5L TS turbo with powervalve and methanol dynoed at 220 bhp, 30 kg torque, 170 bhp on wheel
Honda stream turbo charged switching from Microtech ecu to run on emanage ultimate
WRX 2.0 with VF22 turbo

Yes! 1.5L TS turbo making 220 bhp. Owner is a returning customer, he used to have his lancer GLX turbo charged done up by us. I'm gonna write up on his recent races and post the results. This ride looks great and definately keeping up with the latest trends and designs. Once I've the time, I'll write up the articles one at a time.

Most of the time, I ended up writing half-way... then by the time I return, I have one more on hand to think about... hahaha

Mitsubishi lancer glx Maxed out

Mitsubishi lancer glx Maxed out

We have this ride's engine boosting high boost levels, with boost cooler injection kit, front mount intercooler, AVCR boost controller, cams, powervalve, racing clutch and many more...

What we get is a lancer glx that wheel spins on 17" rims, when the turbo kicks in with this setup. Amazing!

In just a short span of 3 weeks, we converted a lancer that used to be running slower than a stock suzuki swift sport to one that out runs a wrx.

Yes, you bet the owner is happy!! I would be happy too if I were him... stock quality idling at 750 rpm, smooth transitions, smooth day-to-day driving, but when the power kicks in, everything changes.

Overall, this ride is a head turner. From the outside, there is nothing that suggest this ride has this much potential, except for his large exhaust pipe, everything else says I'm normal and stock.

For the record, owner drives into garage, orders something, gets it fixed up and off he goes with whatever he wanted when he first came in. Satis feeling...

Congrates! You're now one of the fastest in your category.

LJ lang Subaru WRX 2.0

Subaru WRX 2.0

Eh, lan jiao lang... this is for you only.... hahaha This car belongs to a good friend... he sold off his 300 bhp lancer glx and bought a wrx. What we did to his car is up in a bigger turbo, install a monster sized top mount intercooler, plug in a 825 cc injectors, pump up the fuel regulator and tune up his car via ecu-reflash.



Coolz... lan jiao lang's car ended up damn bloody torquey... you try to sit up without leaning back to the seat, you'll end up like a mentally unstable passenger who keeps slamming himself to the seat while the car boost away. I tried it and I was wondering how come the back rest never break like those carbon fibre type... look, if your car seat breaks, its not my fault ok... it the car's torque... we boost 1.7 Bar... lan jiao lang claims its only 1.6 bar... whatever... anyway... rev cut is set at 7800 rpm and if he ever wanna race with me, I'll secretly flash his car to rev cut at 3000 rpm... steady boh?

right now, car should hit a 350 bhp. This ride is very well setup for sprints. Needless to say, owner is happy like fark, except for the need to relocate his front o2 sensor to accodomate the powervalve, everything is perfect. I spent 2 cans of saliva explaining the front strut bar effects on traction and suspension system...

so, for the record, front strut bar serves to reduce the front tyre traction in relation to the rear, this effect can also be achieve by other means of suspension tuning, like losing tyre pressure and stuff.... anyway... you run along and enjoy your new car... when you figure out how to do it properly on non-reclinable bucket seats without seriously contorting your body and lark-chiong, let me know...

overall, this setup is perfect for 20 lamp post sprints and car park rally