The new wave has started.
If you look at the trend, those older dicks like Johnathon and Ray whose dick hair has grown so much, you hardly ever find their prick in the undergrowth. What these pricks are doing is demodding their rides and go for something more tame and faminine.
Now, the new age of car modders have started. The new wave of modders are highly educated, more sophisicated, have cash and wants some fun out of that 4-wheeled tin can. You find the new wave are starting off with something alot of old froggies like Lam and his cousin have started with, cold-air intake and a better flowing exhaust. And farking get it tune for puny horse.
The civic type R running on hondata flash pro is a very typical case for starters.
It pretty mind boggling for me, to switch from big bang mommas turbos back to the days where we all started off with. hahaha... very nostalgic.
The feeling of a new beginning, a better year ahead is finally happening before our very eyes, living in the era of a post economic crisis, almost everyone I met has that same feeling of a new start, a fresh start of something new and exciting. Almost uncontrollable feeling of endless aura of energy that tugs our heart as we think and talk about whats ahead. Indeed it shall be.
Sam likes head starts. Yeah, super. Ah Qi is a new hand around, if you imagine this to be some beautiful lady from vietnam, you're in for a big surprise. When Ah Qi bends over to pick up some tools or something, his steamer pant slides down and say hello to calvin klein underwear, some farkers told Ah Qi no need to wear so good underwear to workshop somemore. Wah lan eh, you know there are so much tools lying around and Ah Qi goes around flashing his farking underwear, OMG la, really dunno how to tell him. Maybe that why ended up blogging. CB sam have to hire flashers, I dunno.... yeah farking funny. What a good start baby. Flashing new beginning and a great year ahead.
Whats on my mind is basically to complete the new book from Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol and to wait patiently for Stephenie myers final release.
For now, chill and stay safe
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Pasir Gudang 5 lap race
Photos are best kept a while before posting. Here's the 5 lap race sam went with Johnaton.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Subaru 2.5 wrx
This is a stock wrx with wastegate and a boost controller. I know this is a little anti-climax for starters, and those of you owners of monster ride, please bear with me. There is something wrong with the setup and his days in his previous workshop resutlted in frustration and fruitless pursuit for answers.
Sam once again with his nose stuck very high up in the air, fingers doodling away in the air describing how majestically he weave his magical fingers to transform cinderella into snow white before the clock strikes twelve. I just listen as he continues his chant of carmasutras. I notice as I paid a little more attention to his chantings, he got a little more excited and it seems to quicken his speech, and as I look away, his fingers with its futile attempts began to beg for attention. Like a little boy showing off his huge dick again. Ha.
Owner is a very kind person who shows his appreciation by smsing us how happy he was with the ride. Nice guy.
Lately the news is filled with so much talk about the job credits the government is giving out and how it helped the companies in sillypore prevent retrenchment and all those crab. I wonder what kind of foreign talent we have and there is no better way to describe this than a witness of one bangala pushing a lorry and the other behind the wheel trying his best to start the car. A closer look into what the bangala is doing, we look with agony as the one pushing the lorry behind is getting no help from the one sitting behind the wheel trying to turn the ignition key! Trying to jump start the car by turning the ignition key is damn stupid.
Jackie shouted at the bangala and describe to him how he can throw the clutch to start the lorry, "Sir! You dun understand. The problem is the ignition boss! Ignition problem." bangala responded with a look that tell you not to teach daddy how to fark. OMG! Jackie nodded retardedly with a look of an idoit. Mouth wide open and a lousy attempt to conceal his smile.
There our foreign talent continued pushing the lorry all the way up the bridge and to nevana.
Downstairs, we heard a the boss of another workshop calling his chinese mechanic over "Baammm!" As the boss swung his work harden palm across the globe and landed "Smack!" on the chinaman's face. "Fark! You start the engine without pouring in the engine oil!". Ai yoh, so we have silly sillypore employers doing silly thing again.
While preparing this article, a lady dressed in a nice black dress arrives with one of our kakis. Long shiny hair that moves as the slightest breeze lift each strands by its name. Sharp features like those you see in korean movies, gentle movement that make life so difficult to remain focus and the need to pretend you're not looking at her is a little lame. Didnt see sam's reaction though, thats gonna be interesting, I wonder where he went....
Stock WRX, boost up, wastegate and stuff. The result is a showroom quality ride. The way you wanted it when you test drove the ride at Subaru's Showroom. Just a little more powerful and louder when the wastegate opens when you gun the ride. Nice!
Sam once again with his nose stuck very high up in the air, fingers doodling away in the air describing how majestically he weave his magical fingers to transform cinderella into snow white before the clock strikes twelve. I just listen as he continues his chant of carmasutras. I notice as I paid a little more attention to his chantings, he got a little more excited and it seems to quicken his speech, and as I look away, his fingers with its futile attempts began to beg for attention. Like a little boy showing off his huge dick again. Ha.
Owner is a very kind person who shows his appreciation by smsing us how happy he was with the ride. Nice guy.
Lately the news is filled with so much talk about the job credits the government is giving out and how it helped the companies in sillypore prevent retrenchment and all those crab. I wonder what kind of foreign talent we have and there is no better way to describe this than a witness of one bangala pushing a lorry and the other behind the wheel trying his best to start the car. A closer look into what the bangala is doing, we look with agony as the one pushing the lorry behind is getting no help from the one sitting behind the wheel trying to turn the ignition key! Trying to jump start the car by turning the ignition key is damn stupid.
Jackie shouted at the bangala and describe to him how he can throw the clutch to start the lorry, "Sir! You dun understand. The problem is the ignition boss! Ignition problem." bangala responded with a look that tell you not to teach daddy how to fark. OMG! Jackie nodded retardedly with a look of an idoit. Mouth wide open and a lousy attempt to conceal his smile.
There our foreign talent continued pushing the lorry all the way up the bridge and to nevana.
Downstairs, we heard a the boss of another workshop calling his chinese mechanic over "Baammm!" As the boss swung his work harden palm across the globe and landed "Smack!" on the chinaman's face. "Fark! You start the engine without pouring in the engine oil!". Ai yoh, so we have silly sillypore employers doing silly thing again.
While preparing this article, a lady dressed in a nice black dress arrives with one of our kakis. Long shiny hair that moves as the slightest breeze lift each strands by its name. Sharp features like those you see in korean movies, gentle movement that make life so difficult to remain focus and the need to pretend you're not looking at her is a little lame. Didnt see sam's reaction though, thats gonna be interesting, I wonder where he went....
Stock WRX, boost up, wastegate and stuff. The result is a showroom quality ride. The way you wanted it when you test drove the ride at Subaru's Showroom. Just a little more powerful and louder when the wastegate opens when you gun the ride. Nice!
Monday, October 12, 2009
BMW 325
I sat into a BMW 325 recently, sam immediately asked me to analyse the owner whom I've never met. Looking down at the gear stick, the well worn leather that over the shaft, I concluded that its a lady. "Why?" sam asked amused.
"Its damn obvious lor, which gender can hold that stick so well and drives a BMW." I replied.
The worn out steering wheel is definately one that grasps it so hard, your legs are bound by the pedals and you moan while driving. "What about the stains on the wheels" sam asked.
"Sperm of course."
Immediately, sam raised his palms from the steering and drove with his fingers.
Silly mule.
We're planning to turbo charged this beautiful ride!
"Its damn obvious lor, which gender can hold that stick so well and drives a BMW." I replied.
The worn out steering wheel is definately one that grasps it so hard, your legs are bound by the pedals and you moan while driving. "What about the stains on the wheels" sam asked.
"Sperm of course."
Immediately, sam raised his palms from the steering and drove with his fingers.
Silly mule.
We're planning to turbo charged this beautiful ride!
Something about nothing; Fp Green?
Its been a while, yeah, I know, and the long list of cars to write up on aint gonna help also. The internet is so filled with porn sites, its hardly ever possible for me to navigate to the right location without stopping by some of those. Its gotta be a man's thing I guess, or is that sam's highly pollutant mind the problem.
How about we start with a WRX, stock internal's with a nice FP Green turbo? sounds good? To the owner who used to own a MX-5 and now driving a STI with a nice scout's knot tied to your rear view mirror, I'll call you Captain marvel. Your request to keep you anonymous and your handsome face from cheeky housewives, yeah, I can understand. For now, let take a look at FP green turbo.
I think for many, you must be thinking I got lost somehow along the way and stopped tuning or somthing, these days are filled with anxiety about my new job and what I'm going to do in the near future. Turning Tuning into a full time business is a sure way of killing my passion in doing this. I started work in a local bank recently and like our dear doctor wilson, the working hours in banks is so long, I hardly find time to go to the toilet to shit. OMG! Sam say no time to shit also nevermind, got money can liaoz, thats why you find him half filled with shit everytime he opens his mouth. I realised over the years, that tuning is a sure way for me to turn my stress to relaxation. so, lets keep it that way.
FP green is a nice poshy turbo, a clean and strong spool up at 3600 rpm that pulls that facial lines straight while you keep that throttle planted down. No need for botox, just install this turbo and your chicks will look like new. I remember Jia xiong's GF, hehehe, as usual, fast cars almost always comes with beautiful gals, So, JX, next time you drive your rex over, please dun come alone. You're not very welcome if you're alone, Sam's the only gay around here. Then we have Derrick's Vios turbo now with forged internals and boosting so high, you're on the lookout for STIs for breakfast.
For starters, FP green is not a small turbo. Its design is unique in its nature and running on a 2.5L boxer engine, spool up is very strong, but, care must be taken to ensure the engine takes the full enslaught of the power this turbo can churn out. We basically tweak the internals, the injectors, the turbo, the piping and a little here and there, possibly a turbo wastegate, and you get a car that smacks the redline like a tennis racket. Of course, to ensure the owner retains his cashflow, sam suggest the payment to be made via credit and in installments. That way, we help the economy recover its credit flow. With debt and loans leading the recovery.
Idling is perfect. No stalls and fuel economy is as per stock for daily driving.
FP green on stock internals results in a stock car that runs with 380 whp. Of course, you'll lose the nice torquey 2000 rpm spool-ups a TD04 can offer, but, for most of us, a slightly higher spool-up of 3600 is better for fuel economy and power on demand applications.
I'm readng a book from Brown, called Fibonacci analysis, and dear doctor sam comes along to how me how anaytical he is, showing me the market indices for Nasdaq from google financials. "See, up... down... up... down..., what goes up must come down.." then he gave me that 'I know everything' look again. Wah lan.... It felt like someone holding on to my balls and pulling while saying the ups and downs. OMG. Its not a coincidence that Leonardo Fibonacci wasnt an engineer.
For now, its a post on something like FP green and about nothing really to talk about. Let me consolidate a little here and there and I'll definately post something soon.
How about we start with a WRX, stock internal's with a nice FP Green turbo? sounds good? To the owner who used to own a MX-5 and now driving a STI with a nice scout's knot tied to your rear view mirror, I'll call you Captain marvel. Your request to keep you anonymous and your handsome face from cheeky housewives, yeah, I can understand. For now, let take a look at FP green turbo.
I think for many, you must be thinking I got lost somehow along the way and stopped tuning or somthing, these days are filled with anxiety about my new job and what I'm going to do in the near future. Turning Tuning into a full time business is a sure way of killing my passion in doing this. I started work in a local bank recently and like our dear doctor wilson, the working hours in banks is so long, I hardly find time to go to the toilet to shit. OMG! Sam say no time to shit also nevermind, got money can liaoz, thats why you find him half filled with shit everytime he opens his mouth. I realised over the years, that tuning is a sure way for me to turn my stress to relaxation. so, lets keep it that way.
FP green is a nice poshy turbo, a clean and strong spool up at 3600 rpm that pulls that facial lines straight while you keep that throttle planted down. No need for botox, just install this turbo and your chicks will look like new. I remember Jia xiong's GF, hehehe, as usual, fast cars almost always comes with beautiful gals, So, JX, next time you drive your rex over, please dun come alone. You're not very welcome if you're alone, Sam's the only gay around here. Then we have Derrick's Vios turbo now with forged internals and boosting so high, you're on the lookout for STIs for breakfast.
For starters, FP green is not a small turbo. Its design is unique in its nature and running on a 2.5L boxer engine, spool up is very strong, but, care must be taken to ensure the engine takes the full enslaught of the power this turbo can churn out. We basically tweak the internals, the injectors, the turbo, the piping and a little here and there, possibly a turbo wastegate, and you get a car that smacks the redline like a tennis racket. Of course, to ensure the owner retains his cashflow, sam suggest the payment to be made via credit and in installments. That way, we help the economy recover its credit flow. With debt and loans leading the recovery.
Idling is perfect. No stalls and fuel economy is as per stock for daily driving.
FP green on stock internals results in a stock car that runs with 380 whp. Of course, you'll lose the nice torquey 2000 rpm spool-ups a TD04 can offer, but, for most of us, a slightly higher spool-up of 3600 is better for fuel economy and power on demand applications.
I'm readng a book from Brown, called Fibonacci analysis, and dear doctor sam comes along to how me how anaytical he is, showing me the market indices for Nasdaq from google financials. "See, up... down... up... down..., what goes up must come down.." then he gave me that 'I know everything' look again. Wah lan.... It felt like someone holding on to my balls and pulling while saying the ups and downs. OMG. Its not a coincidence that Leonardo Fibonacci wasnt an engineer.
For now, its a post on something like FP green and about nothing really to talk about. Let me consolidate a little here and there and I'll definately post something soon.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Subaru WRX with TD05-20G
Subaru WRX with TD05-20G
Yesterday was suppose to be the day I try catch up some sleep, weather was cooling and with that gentle breeze brushing your face and the winds singing a lullaby in your ears, all that came to an arrupt stop when Sam calls me to tune a rex with TD05-20G. The task was simple, just keep the car from stalling. The gentle breeze became violent as the air gushes through my side window and the lullaby became ccb when I blast my powervalve on my way to the workshop. Oh, what a night.
Owner is a friendly guy, dressed in la-kopi attire with shorts and slippers and a smile that says if you dun fix my car, I'll screw your backside. No he didnt look like that, no worries. I didnt look very convincing in the first place, I was mainly pre-occupied with catching up with Ah boy and Jackie, while seeing sam's salty face if it differs from the ones in my mental projector. Sadly, all seems very much the same as the day before...
Now, why this car kept on stalling? From what I see, we have a 825cc aftermart injectors, everything cutomized, some hella-kella clutch with uncle's ice-cream truck bell stuck in between the twin plated clutch and goes "ling-ding-ding-ding" but no dongs... Then we have the main culprit a flywheel on a diet which revs like a scrambler. Of course, the mega sized regulator that looks like it came from Apollo 13 is definately working and pumping enough milk into the engine to fill up marina bay reservoir.
Ok, from nothing, nothing comes. The idling was sorted out, no more stalling, so with the lighten flywheel and drive-by-wire , you have a subaru revving like a scrambler on stationery. Yes, definately this ride scores a 5 of 5 for its sounds department. This ride came with aftermart exhaust, extractor, 05-20g turbo, front mount intercooler, AVCR boost controller and many many more... Exterior wise, it looks like a brand new subaru!
Whats it like running on a 05-20G? We have 60 kg of torque and about 430 on crank. Not that this is alot, owner seems very much happy with the current setup. Sam on the other hand wanted to up the bhp and owner was like, trying to suppress his anxiety and tried to dissuade sam from doing so. well, eventually, owner gave in, and sam smiles. This ride is setup perfectly for street drivability, in fact, a little overkill for that matter and in overtaking senarios, you'll find yourself pulling ahead much more than required.
Overall, this ride gave good amount of torque and a reasonable amount of bhp to give a good all-rounder performance. This setup is suitable for people who are tolerant of a harsher riding condition, trading off some comfort for power, while at the same time, not too extreme for that matter.
The look on the owner's face when I stepped out of the vehicle telling him sam's doing something to your car, '...he's trying to increase your boost now...', owner said, "... huh? no la... very fast already...". With a half pleading look on his face, and trying to convince sam from doing so. Sam on the other hand had that cheeky dirty look on his face, that smile that says, I gonna screw your ass, like a girl dressed in velvet sitting on your cock, and starts to rub it while you try not to erect. With a welding tool in hand and smiling at us, that look is stored away in my mental projector and now, I see it again in my mental projector. Eventually, owner submits like slipping his hands up the tighs of the girl, feeling the softness beneath her skin, groans with each thrusting motion. Banana so hard, you felt like twenties again!
Yesterday was suppose to be the day I try catch up some sleep, weather was cooling and with that gentle breeze brushing your face and the winds singing a lullaby in your ears, all that came to an arrupt stop when Sam calls me to tune a rex with TD05-20G. The task was simple, just keep the car from stalling. The gentle breeze became violent as the air gushes through my side window and the lullaby became ccb when I blast my powervalve on my way to the workshop. Oh, what a night.
Owner is a friendly guy, dressed in la-kopi attire with shorts and slippers and a smile that says if you dun fix my car, I'll screw your backside. No he didnt look like that, no worries. I didnt look very convincing in the first place, I was mainly pre-occupied with catching up with Ah boy and Jackie, while seeing sam's salty face if it differs from the ones in my mental projector. Sadly, all seems very much the same as the day before...
Now, why this car kept on stalling? From what I see, we have a 825cc aftermart injectors, everything cutomized, some hella-kella clutch with uncle's ice-cream truck bell stuck in between the twin plated clutch and goes "ling-ding-ding-ding" but no dongs... Then we have the main culprit a flywheel on a diet which revs like a scrambler. Of course, the mega sized regulator that looks like it came from Apollo 13 is definately working and pumping enough milk into the engine to fill up marina bay reservoir.
Ok, from nothing, nothing comes. The idling was sorted out, no more stalling, so with the lighten flywheel and drive-by-wire , you have a subaru revving like a scrambler on stationery. Yes, definately this ride scores a 5 of 5 for its sounds department. This ride came with aftermart exhaust, extractor, 05-20g turbo, front mount intercooler, AVCR boost controller and many many more... Exterior wise, it looks like a brand new subaru!
Whats it like running on a 05-20G? We have 60 kg of torque and about 430 on crank. Not that this is alot, owner seems very much happy with the current setup. Sam on the other hand wanted to up the bhp and owner was like, trying to suppress his anxiety and tried to dissuade sam from doing so. well, eventually, owner gave in, and sam smiles. This ride is setup perfectly for street drivability, in fact, a little overkill for that matter and in overtaking senarios, you'll find yourself pulling ahead much more than required.
Overall, this ride gave good amount of torque and a reasonable amount of bhp to give a good all-rounder performance. This setup is suitable for people who are tolerant of a harsher riding condition, trading off some comfort for power, while at the same time, not too extreme for that matter.
The look on the owner's face when I stepped out of the vehicle telling him sam's doing something to your car, '...he's trying to increase your boost now...', owner said, "... huh? no la... very fast already...". With a half pleading look on his face, and trying to convince sam from doing so. Sam on the other hand had that cheeky dirty look on his face, that smile that says, I gonna screw your ass, like a girl dressed in velvet sitting on your cock, and starts to rub it while you try not to erect. With a welding tool in hand and smiling at us, that look is stored away in my mental projector and now, I see it again in my mental projector. Eventually, owner submits like slipping his hands up the tighs of the girl, feeling the softness beneath her skin, groans with each thrusting motion. Banana so hard, you felt like twenties again!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Honda Fit Turbo Charged
Honda Fit Turbo Charged
These japanese shushi cars are really formidable in terms of how they position themselves in the market with their colleteral efforts in car technologies. This is the first time I have ever tuned a MY09 Honda Fit. Yes, first time seriously. Well, to be fair, in the past, we've tuned Honda Fits before which are also Turbo charged, but the 2009 Fits are slightly different in terms of technology.
What we have learnt in the past, in the New misubishi lancer 1.5 Ex, we see it again in this Honda Fit. Amazing! The aggressive sharing of technology among manufacturers shows a relentless force of how they feel about competition not only among themselves but, more interestingly, against the european and korean counterparts.
Everytime sam say this is gonna be a piece of cake, "... we can go cycling after a quick tuning session...", everytime he says something to this extent, something of the opposite effect occurs!
So, in this story, we have tuned the car till 2am. Its not that we didnt know how to do it, its more like because we setup the ECU for the older version of Fit and discovered it doesnt work. And the dianostics shows great amount of similarity to that seen in the Lancer Ex. How I wished we knew its like the Ex, maybe if Sam didnt say anything in the first place, we might still be fortunate enough to go cycling early. Hokkien say, " Suay chui la"
Now, what we have in this ride, a Turbo which spools its max boost at around 3800 rpm, a CVT gearbox, Emanage ultimate piggyback ecu, Turbo wastegate and turbo boost controller. Yup, very simple and straight forward setup.
Tuning is as per the latest technology vehicles and what we have is a car that is totally fun and keeps us smiling all the way! Idling is as per stock, exhaust is stock volume as not to attract the wrong attention and everything else exterior is basically stock.
With the turbo responsive, the car picks up off traffic like the breeze! The effortless cruising and overtaking power. While sam was checking the car, he had the opportunity to try with a BMW 7 series! Off traffic, Honda Fit sprints forward! With the turbo carefully selected to spool together with the CVT gearbox, this sporty looking Honda Fit pulls away from the 7 series with ease. Of course, at higher speed like 200 kph, I would expect the 7 series to catch up and win the Fit at exuberant speed. For now at least, it is traffic to traffic and Fit is consistently ahead. A chance to try with a scrambler? Fit has the ability to maintain behind the bike but not able to overtake it. Well, in my opinion, that gonna keep the owner very happy with such acceleration and power.
Because this is a CVT transmission, we have not much option but to cap the car's bhp and torque. Sam wanted to increase the power of course, this is to my objection. Lets just be contented with this for now, and in future, we can consider forging the internals for a little bit more power. Thats about how much it can go I guess. CVT conversion? Oh, after driving manual tranny for years now, CVT for me would be a much welcome relief!
Sam reminded me to note down what I did in this ride, but, I told him, "...wierd cars are rare, and I remember them well enough...". He gave me the half baked pissed off look, a little insulted and salty. I like! I know of people who tried tuning this ride and the results is horrendous. Nevertheless, I would rate this ride as difficult, together with Doctor's MX-5 turbo and Jia xiong's lancer ex.
Overall, I enjoy myself throughly but the late nights took a toll on me and early bedtimes recently is very much needed. Could this possibly the very first TCed MY09 Fit around? We'll just wait and see, till then, lets be patient.
Till then...
Stay safe and Happy driving
These japanese shushi cars are really formidable in terms of how they position themselves in the market with their colleteral efforts in car technologies. This is the first time I have ever tuned a MY09 Honda Fit. Yes, first time seriously. Well, to be fair, in the past, we've tuned Honda Fits before which are also Turbo charged, but the 2009 Fits are slightly different in terms of technology.
What we have learnt in the past, in the New misubishi lancer 1.5 Ex, we see it again in this Honda Fit. Amazing! The aggressive sharing of technology among manufacturers shows a relentless force of how they feel about competition not only among themselves but, more interestingly, against the european and korean counterparts.
Everytime sam say this is gonna be a piece of cake, "... we can go cycling after a quick tuning session...", everytime he says something to this extent, something of the opposite effect occurs!
So, in this story, we have tuned the car till 2am. Its not that we didnt know how to do it, its more like because we setup the ECU for the older version of Fit and discovered it doesnt work. And the dianostics shows great amount of similarity to that seen in the Lancer Ex. How I wished we knew its like the Ex, maybe if Sam didnt say anything in the first place, we might still be fortunate enough to go cycling early. Hokkien say, " Suay chui la"
Now, what we have in this ride, a Turbo which spools its max boost at around 3800 rpm, a CVT gearbox, Emanage ultimate piggyback ecu, Turbo wastegate and turbo boost controller. Yup, very simple and straight forward setup.
Tuning is as per the latest technology vehicles and what we have is a car that is totally fun and keeps us smiling all the way! Idling is as per stock, exhaust is stock volume as not to attract the wrong attention and everything else exterior is basically stock.
With the turbo responsive, the car picks up off traffic like the breeze! The effortless cruising and overtaking power. While sam was checking the car, he had the opportunity to try with a BMW 7 series! Off traffic, Honda Fit sprints forward! With the turbo carefully selected to spool together with the CVT gearbox, this sporty looking Honda Fit pulls away from the 7 series with ease. Of course, at higher speed like 200 kph, I would expect the 7 series to catch up and win the Fit at exuberant speed. For now at least, it is traffic to traffic and Fit is consistently ahead. A chance to try with a scrambler? Fit has the ability to maintain behind the bike but not able to overtake it. Well, in my opinion, that gonna keep the owner very happy with such acceleration and power.
Because this is a CVT transmission, we have not much option but to cap the car's bhp and torque. Sam wanted to increase the power of course, this is to my objection. Lets just be contented with this for now, and in future, we can consider forging the internals for a little bit more power. Thats about how much it can go I guess. CVT conversion? Oh, after driving manual tranny for years now, CVT for me would be a much welcome relief!
Sam reminded me to note down what I did in this ride, but, I told him, "...wierd cars are rare, and I remember them well enough...". He gave me the half baked pissed off look, a little insulted and salty. I like! I know of people who tried tuning this ride and the results is horrendous. Nevertheless, I would rate this ride as difficult, together with Doctor's MX-5 turbo and Jia xiong's lancer ex.
Overall, I enjoy myself throughly but the late nights took a toll on me and early bedtimes recently is very much needed. Could this possibly the very first TCed MY09 Fit around? We'll just wait and see, till then, lets be patient.
Till then...
Stay safe and Happy driving
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Subaru WRX Auto MY07
Subaru WRX Auto MY07
Yes, its been a long wait for an update on this blog. Now let see... We have our kaki derrick introducing his friend who drives an 2007 Auto JDM Subaru WRX, putting in a VF35 Turbo upping his boost level. Pretty simple and straight forward.
Owner looks for good street drivability and power during overtaking, overall a sleek and nice to drive ride, not for tracking (though we still tune this for tracking) just normal day-to-day commuting, just a little faster than the stock STI. Thats the target.
'G' wise, we estimate a good 70kg of torque on his auto tranny. Not too much to kill it, just high enough to keep the gearbox happy. This turbo spools up around 3300 rpm, and hits max boost aroung 3800 rpm. If you own a STI yourself, you'll be surprised on how similar this ride will feel, just a little faster that all. Sam asks me if the car is fast or not. hahaha... I told him, fark, I also using the same setup, and I feel my car is slow after using the same thing for the last 3 years. How to tell owner his car is slow? hahaha...
Now, this ride prize itself in the comfort department, if you have to fetch your kids around and need that added comfort and quietness, then this setup is perfect for you. Not too much modifications required, just a simple and straight forward setup.
Of course, if you wanna soup it up to 500 bhp, its gonna take more than this :)
Johnny just came in second from his last track race. hahaha... of course du lan la... but its like that, sometimes you win, sometimes you dun. Heard that there was some problems with his cambering which he has to settle before the next race.
Overall, I found this ride to be extremely appealing, given the amount of horsepower, the looks, the power available at the tap of a pedal, driving around in a ride like this should be fun.
Yes, its been a long wait for an update on this blog. Now let see... We have our kaki derrick introducing his friend who drives an 2007 Auto JDM Subaru WRX, putting in a VF35 Turbo upping his boost level. Pretty simple and straight forward.
Owner looks for good street drivability and power during overtaking, overall a sleek and nice to drive ride, not for tracking (though we still tune this for tracking) just normal day-to-day commuting, just a little faster than the stock STI. Thats the target.
'G' wise, we estimate a good 70kg of torque on his auto tranny. Not too much to kill it, just high enough to keep the gearbox happy. This turbo spools up around 3300 rpm, and hits max boost aroung 3800 rpm. If you own a STI yourself, you'll be surprised on how similar this ride will feel, just a little faster that all. Sam asks me if the car is fast or not. hahaha... I told him, fark, I also using the same setup, and I feel my car is slow after using the same thing for the last 3 years. How to tell owner his car is slow? hahaha...
Now, this ride prize itself in the comfort department, if you have to fetch your kids around and need that added comfort and quietness, then this setup is perfect for you. Not too much modifications required, just a simple and straight forward setup.
Of course, if you wanna soup it up to 500 bhp, its gonna take more than this :)
Johnny just came in second from his last track race. hahaha... of course du lan la... but its like that, sometimes you win, sometimes you dun. Heard that there was some problems with his cambering which he has to settle before the next race.
Overall, I found this ride to be extremely appealing, given the amount of horsepower, the looks, the power available at the tap of a pedal, driving around in a ride like this should be fun.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Drag Race!
Drag Race!
It all began when we were on the dyno machine and no matter how we did it, the car produced a puny 280 whp on wheel... Based on our calculations, boosting the amount we're doing, the car should already be producing a good 500 on engine, but it is freaking crazy to see the figures at 280 whp. We suspect the Dyno machine is screwed. But, who in the world would believe your claim that the machine is screwed. People usually would not believe you and to make matters worse, if we push the car any further, the engine is bound for destruction, based on our experience of course.
Sam decided to call Bob. Bob's a flambouyant fella driving a wrx STI running on Dom 3 turbo, stock internals. Ours is a TD06-20g turbo and also wrx STI on stock internals, so, what we're trying to achieve is pretty similar to Bobs. We asked for a benchmarking friendly with Bob. Bob immediately accepted the run.
10 subaru wrx, 3 honda civics and a tow truck. Its a beautiful sight to see the highly modified rides making their way down to the drag strip. If I were to film this down, you would think this aint sillypore man.
Johnny's ride is mainly built for track and his skillset lies mainly on track and for him to run a drag, well, first off, his car looks like shit. Drag cars are usually very eye catchy, sleek, neat and sounds terrific. Johnny's track car looks like a dog when he pits against dragsters. Lucky him, Bob's a LTA friendly looking ride. :)
Rolling start.... Bob rolls side by side with Johnny, straight-on, GO! The entire drag strip is suddenly filled with Johnny's powervalve! Gear shifting is perfectly time and the PG 5 lap race champion quick shifting ensures every gear is engaged perfectly. Bob launches on 2 and got a good half car advantage over John. Gear 3 enagages, Bob's 380whp STI is side-by-side with John's 280 whp STI, Gear 4, John pulls right past Bob and crosses the finishing line 4 cars ahead of Bob. Once a champ, always a champ! All smiles and the euphoric atmosphere keeps us talking.
John pulls up but displays no expressions. Trade mark of tracksters? Or too used to winning? Jees....
Yes, dyno machine is screwed. Thats confirmed.
Race 2, Bob vs Xiao Jian! Hahahahaha.... ya, how can a drag race be without a drag car like xiao jian! hahaha... Although this drag strip is more suited for Alan's drag car, but sam decides to pit xiao jian's monster.
Go! From where I was, I was puzzled why xiao jian's car is so farking slow, I expected a clear win right from the start. Gear 2, Bob's in front! Gear 3, Xiao Jian is 1 car behind Bob. Gear 4..... Xiao Jian's monster Shoots past Bob at speeds and acceleration that is simply mind boogling!Wow! Everyone was like OMG! the classic win! Talk about showmanship and style. Xiao Jian dresses in long sleeves and selected his style of crossing the finishing line. Full decaled with all the necessary body kits to make this car cross the finishing line in style. All eyes is on him when he pulled over.
Bob was like wow... WTF did you do to your ride... hahaha..."You just went faammm...!" Bob said, demostrating with his hands how Xiao Jian flew past him. Xiao Jian's displayed no expression, just smile, hello and goodbye kinda person... hahaha...
What a night! Many thanks for Bob for lending us his ride for confirming that the dyno machine is indeed screwed. Bob's gonna do up his engine next... evil! Overall, everyone's pretty much happy and truely, if you're part of the process, you'll enjoy this much more than me!
It all began when we were on the dyno machine and no matter how we did it, the car produced a puny 280 whp on wheel... Based on our calculations, boosting the amount we're doing, the car should already be producing a good 500 on engine, but it is freaking crazy to see the figures at 280 whp. We suspect the Dyno machine is screwed. But, who in the world would believe your claim that the machine is screwed. People usually would not believe you and to make matters worse, if we push the car any further, the engine is bound for destruction, based on our experience of course.
Sam decided to call Bob. Bob's a flambouyant fella driving a wrx STI running on Dom 3 turbo, stock internals. Ours is a TD06-20g turbo and also wrx STI on stock internals, so, what we're trying to achieve is pretty similar to Bobs. We asked for a benchmarking friendly with Bob. Bob immediately accepted the run.
10 subaru wrx, 3 honda civics and a tow truck. Its a beautiful sight to see the highly modified rides making their way down to the drag strip. If I were to film this down, you would think this aint sillypore man.
Johnny's ride is mainly built for track and his skillset lies mainly on track and for him to run a drag, well, first off, his car looks like shit. Drag cars are usually very eye catchy, sleek, neat and sounds terrific. Johnny's track car looks like a dog when he pits against dragsters. Lucky him, Bob's a LTA friendly looking ride. :)
Rolling start.... Bob rolls side by side with Johnny, straight-on, GO! The entire drag strip is suddenly filled with Johnny's powervalve! Gear shifting is perfectly time and the PG 5 lap race champion quick shifting ensures every gear is engaged perfectly. Bob launches on 2 and got a good half car advantage over John. Gear 3 enagages, Bob's 380whp STI is side-by-side with John's 280 whp STI, Gear 4, John pulls right past Bob and crosses the finishing line 4 cars ahead of Bob. Once a champ, always a champ! All smiles and the euphoric atmosphere keeps us talking.
John pulls up but displays no expressions. Trade mark of tracksters? Or too used to winning? Jees....
Yes, dyno machine is screwed. Thats confirmed.
Race 2, Bob vs Xiao Jian! Hahahahaha.... ya, how can a drag race be without a drag car like xiao jian! hahaha... Although this drag strip is more suited for Alan's drag car, but sam decides to pit xiao jian's monster.
Go! From where I was, I was puzzled why xiao jian's car is so farking slow, I expected a clear win right from the start. Gear 2, Bob's in front! Gear 3, Xiao Jian is 1 car behind Bob. Gear 4..... Xiao Jian's monster Shoots past Bob at speeds and acceleration that is simply mind boogling!Wow! Everyone was like OMG! the classic win! Talk about showmanship and style. Xiao Jian dresses in long sleeves and selected his style of crossing the finishing line. Full decaled with all the necessary body kits to make this car cross the finishing line in style. All eyes is on him when he pulled over.
Bob was like wow... WTF did you do to your ride... hahaha..."You just went faammm...!" Bob said, demostrating with his hands how Xiao Jian flew past him. Xiao Jian's displayed no expression, just smile, hello and goodbye kinda person... hahaha...
What a night! Many thanks for Bob for lending us his ride for confirming that the dyno machine is indeed screwed. Bob's gonna do up his engine next... evil! Overall, everyone's pretty much happy and truely, if you're part of the process, you'll enjoy this much more than me!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Honda Prelude
Honda Prelude
I gave myself approximately 1 month to get my ass out of this crapy company here. Then after 5 years of trying, I'm still sitting on this same farking chair, staring at the same farking screen, hitting the same farking keyboard and reporting to the same stupid farking boss.
Across the room, I see different people all the time, like the ever changing landscapes of geylang, then I asked myself countless times, time and time again, is the economy that good? Or, am I missing something new altogether. Eventually, my turn will come, that day will definately come for me to leave this shit hole for good, leaving behind my share of shit, adding to the stockpile of shit of all those who have gone. I see them walk out that door with reinstated dignity and pride, like a jail bird seeing the world for the first time since Adam and eve, that renewal experience, euphoric, beyond words!
Ikuo Kajinati, the father of Vtec. And you thought it was sam? Sam's just a by-product of Ikuo's ingenuity of bringing the CBR400 Vtec technology into automotives. Sam basically takes the beauty of Vtec and rape it. Yes, Ikuo's intentions is to reproduce the free revving characteristics of a bike into a car. Pure Biker's free revving, light and response.
Sam cannot be bothered by some japanese dream of doing things the 'right way'. To him, there is only 1 objective, and that is to make full use of the beauty of Vtec's high lift cams and make the most reliable horsepower from it. Turbocharged Vtec, and a double dose of it!
Honda prelude H22 Vtec engine, the pride of japanese vtec power! In sillypore, there is only 2 remaining honda prelude and given the chance of tuning one of it, is something all tuners would beg for. Running on emanage Ultimate, the owner simply wants the feel of pure Vtec effect produced on a honda vtec engine.
Prelude vtec opens at 5000 rpm, high lift cams kicks down, valve timing changes, car pulls forward with a kick in the ass feeling. H22 is the best musical instrument to produce that distinctive Honda Vtec scream. Indeed, this prelude is no exception when it comes to screaming. Car punches forward with a scream that make everyone turn their heads and go 'WOW'! Nostalgic feeling I must say, for a car of excellent stature, quality and power. Such advanced technology in the 80s which can still be found in today's makes like the Toyota's VVTi, subaru AVCS and thats comes after a few good years of Honda's domination of variable cams timing.
Today, tuning a honda prelude, was done with lots of heart felt thanks for the wonderful experience of knowing how it actually felt owning such a beauty in the 80s. Dragging around the roads of sillypore as one of 2 remaining models? Priceless.
Gear 1, frankly, the car feels a little sluggish in comparison to today's datum which usually comes with shorter gearings. The prelude does feel a little lacking in the torque department when rpms is below 4000. And, if you're wondering why a genius like Ikuo would do such a stupid thing like this, simple. As the rpms moves up the range, upon each gear at 5000 rpm, the moment the high lift Vtec cams kicks down, the car surges forward, producing the famous distinctive Vtec opening scream! With a longer gearing, Ikuo ensures this effect is stretched as long as feasible all the way till 8000 rpm! Definately no anti-climax and pre-ejaculation for japs. Pure enjoyment, out of this world literally!
To all my soft porn fans, especially sam, my apologize that this article doesnt contain your daily dose of hyper ventilating, heart pumping stories about guys doing their stuff. Rest assure, in the next article, I'll give some of that, meanwhile, try googling for some of those and keep that tissue paper handy while you're at it.
Coming soon is a honda Vtec turbo and i promise no old man swinging their dicks and stuff. Steady!
For today, I salute the honda prelude H22 Vtec and the owner for going to lengths obtaining this black beauty.
Till then, drive safe and have fun!
I gave myself approximately 1 month to get my ass out of this crapy company here. Then after 5 years of trying, I'm still sitting on this same farking chair, staring at the same farking screen, hitting the same farking keyboard and reporting to the same stupid farking boss.
Across the room, I see different people all the time, like the ever changing landscapes of geylang, then I asked myself countless times, time and time again, is the economy that good? Or, am I missing something new altogether. Eventually, my turn will come, that day will definately come for me to leave this shit hole for good, leaving behind my share of shit, adding to the stockpile of shit of all those who have gone. I see them walk out that door with reinstated dignity and pride, like a jail bird seeing the world for the first time since Adam and eve, that renewal experience, euphoric, beyond words!
Ikuo Kajinati, the father of Vtec. And you thought it was sam? Sam's just a by-product of Ikuo's ingenuity of bringing the CBR400 Vtec technology into automotives. Sam basically takes the beauty of Vtec and rape it. Yes, Ikuo's intentions is to reproduce the free revving characteristics of a bike into a car. Pure Biker's free revving, light and response.
Sam cannot be bothered by some japanese dream of doing things the 'right way'. To him, there is only 1 objective, and that is to make full use of the beauty of Vtec's high lift cams and make the most reliable horsepower from it. Turbocharged Vtec, and a double dose of it!
Honda prelude H22 Vtec engine, the pride of japanese vtec power! In sillypore, there is only 2 remaining honda prelude and given the chance of tuning one of it, is something all tuners would beg for. Running on emanage Ultimate, the owner simply wants the feel of pure Vtec effect produced on a honda vtec engine.
Prelude vtec opens at 5000 rpm, high lift cams kicks down, valve timing changes, car pulls forward with a kick in the ass feeling. H22 is the best musical instrument to produce that distinctive Honda Vtec scream. Indeed, this prelude is no exception when it comes to screaming. Car punches forward with a scream that make everyone turn their heads and go 'WOW'! Nostalgic feeling I must say, for a car of excellent stature, quality and power. Such advanced technology in the 80s which can still be found in today's makes like the Toyota's VVTi, subaru AVCS and thats comes after a few good years of Honda's domination of variable cams timing.
Today, tuning a honda prelude, was done with lots of heart felt thanks for the wonderful experience of knowing how it actually felt owning such a beauty in the 80s. Dragging around the roads of sillypore as one of 2 remaining models? Priceless.
Gear 1, frankly, the car feels a little sluggish in comparison to today's datum which usually comes with shorter gearings. The prelude does feel a little lacking in the torque department when rpms is below 4000. And, if you're wondering why a genius like Ikuo would do such a stupid thing like this, simple. As the rpms moves up the range, upon each gear at 5000 rpm, the moment the high lift Vtec cams kicks down, the car surges forward, producing the famous distinctive Vtec opening scream! With a longer gearing, Ikuo ensures this effect is stretched as long as feasible all the way till 8000 rpm! Definately no anti-climax and pre-ejaculation for japs. Pure enjoyment, out of this world literally!
To all my soft porn fans, especially sam, my apologize that this article doesnt contain your daily dose of hyper ventilating, heart pumping stories about guys doing their stuff. Rest assure, in the next article, I'll give some of that, meanwhile, try googling for some of those and keep that tissue paper handy while you're at it.
Coming soon is a honda Vtec turbo and i promise no old man swinging their dicks and stuff. Steady!
For today, I salute the honda prelude H22 Vtec and the owner for going to lengths obtaining this black beauty.
Till then, drive safe and have fun!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Dom 1 turbo with bigger fuel pump
Dom 1 turbo with bigger fuel pump
Yes, its a very lame title, who in the world cares if you upgraded the fuel pumps, and upgrading fuel pump is something not worth mentioning. Cool.
Yesterday, we have so many people coming over, we can start a camp fire and talk cock all the way man... Sam is the farker who keep chasing people away, I bet everyone's there to see his baboon lips, and its a real pity the baboon lips has since reduced to something like those on Su Qi's... a little valoptuous I must say... He no longer say Steam Bowl anymore, and thats a pity too.
Now, let see what happened yesterday...
Lets start with Ed. He owns a monster wrx to begin with, something like 480 bhp, GT30 turbo and stuff, I know this farker for very very long already. I remember the time he sat in my car asking me how to modify his lancer glx, so nerdy... And we're still talking about how big a VF30 turbo is and it felt like daddy showing off how mature his 3 year old kid is to the world. Oh, looking back, its really niave.
Ai yah, fark his car la... so boring... Its only till he started describing his sexual escapades to me that really caught my attention. It started with a peek into his cell phone, there lies a new girl, with very sharp features. Her hair flows down to her chest, straight, black and thinly cut. Dressed in black man's shirt, her thin lips the colour of pink and her eyes, yes, those eyes are those that draws guys like flies to honey. Those lips are so tempting, you can just imagine sliding yours against hers and feel the warmth of her moist textured lips, while you're there, you should feel how soft there are, move and molds as her lips moves you want to go further but, you know you hold back, not now at least. "Not yet" says Ed...
"Hey! what happened to the other one?" I asked.
"Which one?" He replied with a question.
In the last escapade, she runs her fingernails along the grains of his shaft, gently scratching over the crumples of his skin, each finger alternating among themselves, moving in a rythemic motion, a little ticklish and a feeling that your heart is connected and feeling every movement of her fingers as she feels her ways around. Her long silky hair covers the entire region as she reposition her head above the tee. With her other hand, she pulls strands of hair to one side and the ends of her hair brushing against Ed's thighs, she parts her lips and molds her lips around the tee at an angle while looking at you from her sides. Starting from the tip of the shaft, she pushes her head downwards and her unpredictable timing of this movement sends vibes along every nerve on his spine,... Each time the downward motion happens, it sends a fresh bout of andrenaline that at times forces air out of your lungs. Ed says, he has to push her head away to retain his sanity. What a loser...
Nick and Ray was there too,... Those 2 went out for a drag race... boost junkies!
JX and and space chimps were there admiring each other's turbo kit. Sometimes these people nothing better to do, like 2 boys unzipping their pants and comparing each other's dick.
Talk about dick... that day, that old man came, he told sam he went to this 'workshop'. There you have a hall of fame of people who hung weights on his pinky! Sam told the old man, his crazy already, where got people hang weights on dick.
Old man kept insisting sam should take a look first than say, old man claim the therapy improves his sex drive alot. Sam told him, "Don't be a dog. Don't be a pig". Old man got aggitated and started demostrating how he swings his pinky with weights in front of us. Wah lao eh... He placed his hands behind his waist and started to swing away. He also pointed to his third leg and swing-swing demostrating how it should be done on his horse riding stance.
"I pity his wife" sam said.
"Why? Coz, he's crazy?" I asked.
"How can she be satisfied when her hubby does these things to destroy his pinky" Sam replied with a tinge of self-pity.
Wah, I laughed till I faint la... hahaha... these 2 equally crazy... hahaha...
Nowadays, sam keep passing fire extinguisher to people, and people are all wondering why... some felt an indirect cautioning gesture, some just blantly fark sam for being crazy, other just can't be bothered. If you ask me, go take a look at his office, he has at least 15 fire extinguishers there, and he wanna clear up his office... thats why.
Like the old saying goes...
But O' what damned mintues tell he O'er
Who dotes yet doubts, suspects yet strongly loves....
Have fun and stay safe.
Yes, its a very lame title, who in the world cares if you upgraded the fuel pumps, and upgrading fuel pump is something not worth mentioning. Cool.
Yesterday, we have so many people coming over, we can start a camp fire and talk cock all the way man... Sam is the farker who keep chasing people away, I bet everyone's there to see his baboon lips, and its a real pity the baboon lips has since reduced to something like those on Su Qi's... a little valoptuous I must say... He no longer say Steam Bowl anymore, and thats a pity too.
Now, let see what happened yesterday...
Lets start with Ed. He owns a monster wrx to begin with, something like 480 bhp, GT30 turbo and stuff, I know this farker for very very long already. I remember the time he sat in my car asking me how to modify his lancer glx, so nerdy... And we're still talking about how big a VF30 turbo is and it felt like daddy showing off how mature his 3 year old kid is to the world. Oh, looking back, its really niave.
Ai yah, fark his car la... so boring... Its only till he started describing his sexual escapades to me that really caught my attention. It started with a peek into his cell phone, there lies a new girl, with very sharp features. Her hair flows down to her chest, straight, black and thinly cut. Dressed in black man's shirt, her thin lips the colour of pink and her eyes, yes, those eyes are those that draws guys like flies to honey. Those lips are so tempting, you can just imagine sliding yours against hers and feel the warmth of her moist textured lips, while you're there, you should feel how soft there are, move and molds as her lips moves you want to go further but, you know you hold back, not now at least. "Not yet" says Ed...
"Hey! what happened to the other one?" I asked.
"Which one?" He replied with a question.
In the last escapade, she runs her fingernails along the grains of his shaft, gently scratching over the crumples of his skin, each finger alternating among themselves, moving in a rythemic motion, a little ticklish and a feeling that your heart is connected and feeling every movement of her fingers as she feels her ways around. Her long silky hair covers the entire region as she reposition her head above the tee. With her other hand, she pulls strands of hair to one side and the ends of her hair brushing against Ed's thighs, she parts her lips and molds her lips around the tee at an angle while looking at you from her sides. Starting from the tip of the shaft, she pushes her head downwards and her unpredictable timing of this movement sends vibes along every nerve on his spine,... Each time the downward motion happens, it sends a fresh bout of andrenaline that at times forces air out of your lungs. Ed says, he has to push her head away to retain his sanity. What a loser...
Nick and Ray was there too,... Those 2 went out for a drag race... boost junkies!
JX and and space chimps were there admiring each other's turbo kit. Sometimes these people nothing better to do, like 2 boys unzipping their pants and comparing each other's dick.
Talk about dick... that day, that old man came, he told sam he went to this 'workshop'. There you have a hall of fame of people who hung weights on his pinky! Sam told the old man, his crazy already, where got people hang weights on dick.
Old man kept insisting sam should take a look first than say, old man claim the therapy improves his sex drive alot. Sam told him, "Don't be a dog. Don't be a pig". Old man got aggitated and started demostrating how he swings his pinky with weights in front of us. Wah lao eh... He placed his hands behind his waist and started to swing away. He also pointed to his third leg and swing-swing demostrating how it should be done on his horse riding stance.
"I pity his wife" sam said.
"Why? Coz, he's crazy?" I asked.
"How can she be satisfied when her hubby does these things to destroy his pinky" Sam replied with a tinge of self-pity.
Wah, I laughed till I faint la... hahaha... these 2 equally crazy... hahaha...
Nowadays, sam keep passing fire extinguisher to people, and people are all wondering why... some felt an indirect cautioning gesture, some just blantly fark sam for being crazy, other just can't be bothered. If you ask me, go take a look at his office, he has at least 15 fire extinguishers there, and he wanna clear up his office... thats why.
Like the old saying goes...
But O' what damned mintues tell he O'er
Who dotes yet doubts, suspects yet strongly loves....
Have fun and stay safe.
Monday, June 22, 2009
The old man strikes again
The old man strikes again
This old man really something, he actually believed he is going to invent something new in the automotive industry and lately, he requested to have his ignition timing advanced by 70 degrees. If you know ignition timings, most piggyback ECUs will only allow a maximum of 20 degrees of advancement and 70 degrees? Thats totally insane!
The moment he steps on the gas, white smoke started bellowing out from his exhaust, even so, he can proudly say, "..you think I am crazy... don't laugh too early..." omg!
Anyway, sam had his tooth extracted a couple days ago and his lips are swelling like a pelican. Looks very much like a baboon in fact, its not that bad really, haha... "... steam bowl..." sam said, and I asked what is a "steam bowl"... "Steam bowl la... the steam bowl..." he replied.
"Orrrrr...Steam BOAT!" I shouted. He wants to eat Steam BOAT when he recovers! That remark, of course pissed him off very much, his eyes stinging and his lips vibrating, trying very hard not to say anything that aggrevate his pain. hahaha... Steam Bowl! hahaha...
This old man really something, he actually believed he is going to invent something new in the automotive industry and lately, he requested to have his ignition timing advanced by 70 degrees. If you know ignition timings, most piggyback ECUs will only allow a maximum of 20 degrees of advancement and 70 degrees? Thats totally insane!
The moment he steps on the gas, white smoke started bellowing out from his exhaust, even so, he can proudly say, "..you think I am crazy... don't laugh too early..." omg!
Anyway, sam had his tooth extracted a couple days ago and his lips are swelling like a pelican. Looks very much like a baboon in fact, its not that bad really, haha... "... steam bowl..." sam said, and I asked what is a "steam bowl"... "Steam bowl la... the steam bowl..." he replied.
"Orrrrr...Steam BOAT!" I shouted. He wants to eat Steam BOAT when he recovers! That remark, of course pissed him off very much, his eyes stinging and his lips vibrating, trying very hard not to say anything that aggrevate his pain. hahaha... Steam Bowl! hahaha...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
WRX JDM STi with Dominator 1 turbo
WRX JDM STi with Dominator 1 turbo
Owner is a frank, straight forward and basically, no nonsense fella... What we want on this ride is a good track timing and an engine lifespan that lasts for the next donkey years. Gerald's the farker who kept whacking his ride like a serial rapist and watching Gerald rape his STi makes everyone else drool and wonder if they can do it like the way he did it on his ride. Almost all the comments I got from people about how Gerald gun his STI on track, describing his driving as such is just an understatement. Gerald's those type that would pinch sam's ass, swing over to the rear of his bubbling Sti, fingernails white from pressing real hard on the boot and trusting his pelvis against his ride's bumper, his jaws opens wide, eyes half open and neck streching skywards, for a moment I really think that was really orgasmic...
A couple of famous dudes have had their fun blowing the owner's engine and I'm next in the queue to try my hands on this ride. Dom 1 turbo on a 2L engine... how does that feel like?
Gear 1, turbo spools up sharply and you basically see the bonnet of this ride rise up to the occasion literally, and at 4000 rpm, the surge of the car is so good, rpm slaps the redline at 8500, faster than you can say "what-the-fark". Eh, if you speak like liang-po-po, the politically correct way to describe this slapping of rpm will be, -faster than to you say "fa-fa-fark", we must be sensitive to people around us and I fully understand people at times stutter especially meeting pretty girls and wanna say how much they have been watching them bath in their dreams and...hey hey, dun act decent la,... who never got erotic dreams in their lifes before? Anyway... very fast la... fa-fa-fark... rpm hits 8500 rpm. Very fast.
Gear 2 engages and Full boost of 1.9 bars kicks in at 3750 rpm and sends the JDM engine screaming into the night.
Gear 3, is where you keep one hand on your balls and the other on the steering wheel. The most important thing to note here is that the hands have to keep the balls in place as the car pulls itself forward. Since the powerband drops off at 7000 rpm, you get a good 3000++ rpm of pure andrenaline rush.
Gear 4? you try yourself... its gonna be fun... hahaha... yah yah... i puss in boobs... those who dare... pls try... kakaka
On dyno, dom 1 turbo on this ride clocks a fine 480 bhp on crank. That day on dyno, we have so many people joining the fun, it almost felt like a freak party on the fly and that day, we had some unexpected guests coming over and it created so much nonsense that the owner told sam, "You're are banned from tuning my ride... hahaha... I scared you get too distracted, cannot focus, blow my engine..." fark... here we are trying to get the tune done asap,.. and there he was drooling... hahahaha... hey, if you know sam, theres only one thing that distracts him. Haha!! Once again, this article is slowly turning itself into another soft porn and for the sake of general readership, it is better to put the cock back on the champagne... Sam got that half pissed half shy look on his face... haha... act decent again la... anyway... that image of him. Oh priceless...
After tuning this ride, the owner shows us a bench flow test result of his aftermart injectors, and it was rated at 460 bhp. That was after we told him that his injectors are too small and we failed to blow his engine... for some reasons, owner seems very happy we didnt blow his engine and the results exceeded his expectations. Maybe because sam sucks... so, he didnt expect too much... wah... if sam reads this, better dun let him touch the car again... otherwise confirm step until bong! cb...
Anyway, this ride is track tuned specifically for this driver. Like Kimiko said, "Tuning driver more impotent zen tuiing kars neeehhh...." farking japanese slang... ah-no-neeehh...
Yes, sam created one more monster for sillypore roads... kekeke... track day is approaching and we'll see if this configuration is suitable for the owner.
Meanwhile, drive save and have fun!
coming soon:
1. Brain's STI
2. Picanto NA with Unichip
3. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
4. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
Owner is a frank, straight forward and basically, no nonsense fella... What we want on this ride is a good track timing and an engine lifespan that lasts for the next donkey years. Gerald's the farker who kept whacking his ride like a serial rapist and watching Gerald rape his STi makes everyone else drool and wonder if they can do it like the way he did it on his ride. Almost all the comments I got from people about how Gerald gun his STI on track, describing his driving as such is just an understatement. Gerald's those type that would pinch sam's ass, swing over to the rear of his bubbling Sti, fingernails white from pressing real hard on the boot and trusting his pelvis against his ride's bumper, his jaws opens wide, eyes half open and neck streching skywards, for a moment I really think that was really orgasmic...
A couple of famous dudes have had their fun blowing the owner's engine and I'm next in the queue to try my hands on this ride. Dom 1 turbo on a 2L engine... how does that feel like?
Gear 1, turbo spools up sharply and you basically see the bonnet of this ride rise up to the occasion literally, and at 4000 rpm, the surge of the car is so good, rpm slaps the redline at 8500, faster than you can say "what-the-fark". Eh, if you speak like liang-po-po, the politically correct way to describe this slapping of rpm will be, -faster than to you say "fa-fa-fark", we must be sensitive to people around us and I fully understand people at times stutter especially meeting pretty girls and wanna say how much they have been watching them bath in their dreams and...hey hey, dun act decent la,... who never got erotic dreams in their lifes before? Anyway... very fast la... fa-fa-fark... rpm hits 8500 rpm. Very fast.
Gear 2 engages and Full boost of 1.9 bars kicks in at 3750 rpm and sends the JDM engine screaming into the night.
Gear 3, is where you keep one hand on your balls and the other on the steering wheel. The most important thing to note here is that the hands have to keep the balls in place as the car pulls itself forward. Since the powerband drops off at 7000 rpm, you get a good 3000++ rpm of pure andrenaline rush.
Gear 4? you try yourself... its gonna be fun... hahaha... yah yah... i puss in boobs... those who dare... pls try... kakaka
On dyno, dom 1 turbo on this ride clocks a fine 480 bhp on crank. That day on dyno, we have so many people joining the fun, it almost felt like a freak party on the fly and that day, we had some unexpected guests coming over and it created so much nonsense that the owner told sam, "You're are banned from tuning my ride... hahaha... I scared you get too distracted, cannot focus, blow my engine..." fark... here we are trying to get the tune done asap,.. and there he was drooling... hahahaha... hey, if you know sam, theres only one thing that distracts him. Haha!! Once again, this article is slowly turning itself into another soft porn and for the sake of general readership, it is better to put the cock back on the champagne... Sam got that half pissed half shy look on his face... haha... act decent again la... anyway... that image of him. Oh priceless...
After tuning this ride, the owner shows us a bench flow test result of his aftermart injectors, and it was rated at 460 bhp. That was after we told him that his injectors are too small and we failed to blow his engine... for some reasons, owner seems very happy we didnt blow his engine and the results exceeded his expectations. Maybe because sam sucks... so, he didnt expect too much... wah... if sam reads this, better dun let him touch the car again... otherwise confirm step until bong! cb...
Anyway, this ride is track tuned specifically for this driver. Like Kimiko said, "Tuning driver more impotent zen tuiing kars neeehhh...." farking japanese slang... ah-no-neeehh...
Yes, sam created one more monster for sillypore roads... kekeke... track day is approaching and we'll see if this configuration is suitable for the owner.
Meanwhile, drive save and have fun!
coming soon:
1. Brain's STI
2. Picanto NA with Unichip
3. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
4. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Honda Civic 1.6 Turbo
Honda Civic 1.6 Turbo
Owner asks me, why keep on talking about lancer ex, and gave me the what the fark look... hahaha... Hey, some attention on the rest of the world please. Well, owner is a super car enthu, with the best of the best equipment on board, he now tries turbo!
Owner has a beautiful golden retriever, very friendly and cuddles up to anyone. Unlike kimiko's dog, hers erected when he sees sam bending over. That day, kimiko came with her dog, sat down on the dirty chairs in sam's workshop and talk about nothing. Her dog got busy sniffing around the workshop and the moment doggy sees sam, oh my god... hahaha... Doggy style brudder... sam didnt notice doggy got so excited, wagging his tail and his tiny pinky was sticking out, looking intently at sam, shuffling listlessly about till kimiko grab the doggy by the ass, "Oh! so excited neh..." kimiko said... hahaha... Sam cannot be bothered, a little pissed off he was, but slogging away trying to fix up the wiring on the honda.
The new civic 1.6 comes with iVtec, sporty interior and excellent handling. Trust me, modifying this ride is not easy. This ride belongs to the new age models like the honda Stream and lancer Ex. Drive by wire and stuff... Owner was with us during tuning and got first hand experience on how it was like tuning this ride.
Besides making good horse power, preserving the automatic gearbox and engine is equally important. What we did on this ride is putting in wastegate, turbo, HKS evc boost controller, HKS SSQV and many more... On Dyno, civic clocked 200bhp on engine on low boost... Till date, Vtec engines still retains its potential and with the turbo charger installed, this technology is exploited to its fullest potential. On high boost? good enough to make everyone smile. Maxing out this engine is easy...
I remember the first day I met the owner, he was a person who doesnt even know the effect of running on different octance level, someone who modifies his ride purely for fun and cannot be bothered by its details. Time really flies...
I remember Ray plugging in his laptop into his car for the first time and totally clueless what to do to his emanage ultimate. Looking at him smile at me today and telling me he managed to make his ride faster and stuff, the sense of pride and the feeling of achievement oozing out from his veins makes me feel good and a reflection of how I felt the first time I tried it. Yes, it felt good. Much better than sex. Somehow, when I watch ray again in my mental projector, that smile on his face, although its nothing close to watching porn, watching him smile and knowing that he did a darn good job himself is good enough for me.
We all started somewhere, its like anything else in life, it all started somewhere and you so decided to bring it further, your passion, your determination and today, you achieved. Looking back, you sometimes didnt even know how it all started, but as I look at each one that comes, I see it as a start of something beautiful. The celebration of Life itself. Life!
Owner asks me, why keep on talking about lancer ex, and gave me the what the fark look... hahaha... Hey, some attention on the rest of the world please. Well, owner is a super car enthu, with the best of the best equipment on board, he now tries turbo!
Owner has a beautiful golden retriever, very friendly and cuddles up to anyone. Unlike kimiko's dog, hers erected when he sees sam bending over. That day, kimiko came with her dog, sat down on the dirty chairs in sam's workshop and talk about nothing. Her dog got busy sniffing around the workshop and the moment doggy sees sam, oh my god... hahaha... Doggy style brudder... sam didnt notice doggy got so excited, wagging his tail and his tiny pinky was sticking out, looking intently at sam, shuffling listlessly about till kimiko grab the doggy by the ass, "Oh! so excited neh..." kimiko said... hahaha... Sam cannot be bothered, a little pissed off he was, but slogging away trying to fix up the wiring on the honda.
The new civic 1.6 comes with iVtec, sporty interior and excellent handling. Trust me, modifying this ride is not easy. This ride belongs to the new age models like the honda Stream and lancer Ex. Drive by wire and stuff... Owner was with us during tuning and got first hand experience on how it was like tuning this ride.
Besides making good horse power, preserving the automatic gearbox and engine is equally important. What we did on this ride is putting in wastegate, turbo, HKS evc boost controller, HKS SSQV and many more... On Dyno, civic clocked 200bhp on engine on low boost... Till date, Vtec engines still retains its potential and with the turbo charger installed, this technology is exploited to its fullest potential. On high boost? good enough to make everyone smile. Maxing out this engine is easy...
I remember the first day I met the owner, he was a person who doesnt even know the effect of running on different octance level, someone who modifies his ride purely for fun and cannot be bothered by its details. Time really flies...
I remember Ray plugging in his laptop into his car for the first time and totally clueless what to do to his emanage ultimate. Looking at him smile at me today and telling me he managed to make his ride faster and stuff, the sense of pride and the feeling of achievement oozing out from his veins makes me feel good and a reflection of how I felt the first time I tried it. Yes, it felt good. Much better than sex. Somehow, when I watch ray again in my mental projector, that smile on his face, although its nothing close to watching porn, watching him smile and knowing that he did a darn good job himself is good enough for me.
We all started somewhere, its like anything else in life, it all started somewhere and you so decided to bring it further, your passion, your determination and today, you achieved. Looking back, you sometimes didnt even know how it all started, but as I look at each one that comes, I see it as a start of something beautiful. The celebration of Life itself. Life!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Lancer Ex 1.5 turbo
When the MARsians descend to earth, they left behind their pet. Space chimpanzees are equally perculiar like sam. Then you have space chimpanzee and sam talking at different monkey frequencies, you have trouble.
Somehow, this silly and stupid relationship between the marsian mammal and sam work well enough for certain reasons. While the earthly tuner watches their conversation with high level of curiosity and the need to equal the frequencies for the 2 parties to communicate at times. If you do not know what the fark I'm talking about, you're definately an earthling like me, and you have never met a space chimpanzee before... :)
Space chimpanzee owns a beatifully modified ride, with the right mixes of colours and shades, one that deserves the centerfold of every car magazine. Putting a turbo charger in a lancer 1.5 Ex is not the easiest thing to do in town and owner decided to upgrade his unichip Q and go for Emanage ultimate. Nervana!! Nothing beats trying it out yourself and feeling how smooth the car reacts to such a powerful ECU. Unichip Q work fine as well without any problems except for some functions unique only to emanage ultimate which can be use to make this ride even faster and smoother....
Till date, not many around the world have successfully deciphered the nits and grits of the emanage ultimate's capability, and the poorly translated japanese manual that comes with it only added to the confusion. Making this ECU perform is not only self satisfying, it also proves the point that this ECU is indeed capable of tuning even the most technologically advanced rides in town.
What we have in this ride is a good 200 bhp and very smooth transmission between gears. Talking to space chimps demands that you know your stuff well. Marsian by nature is smart and their ability to absorb everything I say only proves the point that marsian are indeed a superior being... :) It is easy for me to describe things like compressor surge effect, transmission requirements and stuff with them and to know that they fully understand the theoretical reasonings behind the answers only make the conversation more interesting.
Overall, this ride performs well over the full speed range, whether it is till 100km/h or 190 km/h, this ride performs without any problem. Cel codes like p1241 and stuff are elementary by now and all attention spent now is on preserving the engine and its precious transmission. Today, talking to owner is not about cel code problems but about either to make the ride even faster, whether it will be which electronic boost controller and stuff.
JX is always on my mind each time I tune an Ex... :)
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
5. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
Somehow, this silly and stupid relationship between the marsian mammal and sam work well enough for certain reasons. While the earthly tuner watches their conversation with high level of curiosity and the need to equal the frequencies for the 2 parties to communicate at times. If you do not know what the fark I'm talking about, you're definately an earthling like me, and you have never met a space chimpanzee before... :)
Space chimpanzee owns a beatifully modified ride, with the right mixes of colours and shades, one that deserves the centerfold of every car magazine. Putting a turbo charger in a lancer 1.5 Ex is not the easiest thing to do in town and owner decided to upgrade his unichip Q and go for Emanage ultimate. Nervana!! Nothing beats trying it out yourself and feeling how smooth the car reacts to such a powerful ECU. Unichip Q work fine as well without any problems except for some functions unique only to emanage ultimate which can be use to make this ride even faster and smoother....
Till date, not many around the world have successfully deciphered the nits and grits of the emanage ultimate's capability, and the poorly translated japanese manual that comes with it only added to the confusion. Making this ECU perform is not only self satisfying, it also proves the point that this ECU is indeed capable of tuning even the most technologically advanced rides in town.
What we have in this ride is a good 200 bhp and very smooth transmission between gears. Talking to space chimps demands that you know your stuff well. Marsian by nature is smart and their ability to absorb everything I say only proves the point that marsian are indeed a superior being... :) It is easy for me to describe things like compressor surge effect, transmission requirements and stuff with them and to know that they fully understand the theoretical reasonings behind the answers only make the conversation more interesting.
Overall, this ride performs well over the full speed range, whether it is till 100km/h or 190 km/h, this ride performs without any problem. Cel codes like p1241 and stuff are elementary by now and all attention spent now is on preserving the engine and its precious transmission. Today, talking to owner is not about cel code problems but about either to make the ride even faster, whether it will be which electronic boost controller and stuff.
JX is always on my mind each time I tune an Ex... :)
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
5. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Vios Turbocharged
Vios Turbocharged
Her unforgettable smile, luscious shoulder length hair, that walk that captivates the world and makes the world sway as she sways, her eyes that brightens the skies... I missed that laughter from one so demure, angelic voices that fill the very depths of our souls,...
Sam stares blankly, captivated by her beauty. Beyond the windows of the vios turbo as we left for tuning, he stares, not shy, saved by the black tinted reflective windows, minutes passed like hours, and captivated he was by the beauty across, what awkward minutes tells he O'er as he kept his eyes glued on her... I cannot help but imagine him drooling and panting like a hungery mongrol, disgusting the very nature of mankind itself.... thats sam.
This image of sam is stored away. And in my mental projector I can play it again and watch. The euphoric feeling and excitement, that too, I feel it again as I watch.
The owner of this fabulous ride has a turbo kit that is built by a famous chap in this modification circle. He shares a unique relationship with his original tuner and emphasises to sam not to mention anything about him visiting us and asking us to tune his ride. That saturday, sam sent me on test drive to pick up the possible faults and fixes required before tuning can commence.
After test drive...
Sam asked, " How is it ?", while giving me that half baked smile of his, and a futile attempt to conceal that innocent look, and his damned decision to send his tuner to test drive.
me, " Like that lor... cb... ", totally disgusted...
Sam, "hahaha... " covering his mouth with his oil stained hand...., "everything ok?"
Sam now gave me a even more convincing innocent look... omg...
I reported, "First,... the entire car is filled with smell of gasoline"... I have advised the owner to carry a fire extinguisher... Owner asked me , why?? WHY!?? why need fire extinguisher one?...
I continue with sam saying, "I told the owner,...err.... well... its better to have la..." trying very hard to downplay the situation... " your car is filled with the smell of gasoline leh... I think better to have la... just in case..., you dun smoke right?"
Sam laughs again... wah lan eh... you know sam really enjoys situations like this, where like a kid showing off how big and shiny his marbles are, demostrating his superior sharp shooting marble power with the kid next door... hiaz... kids...
There were other issues that I reported to sam, but none as compared to one that is of this nature... Thereafter, he started to rectify the setup, showing off his superior marbles yet again. I guessed he rectified it because he is not going to sit inside a cabin filled with gasoline himself? cb sam...
Vios is a very obedient car if the setup is done correctly. A 950kg car that runs 0~100 in an instant... turbo spools up at 3500 rpm, giving a good 'g' feeling as the car propels forward. We have done vios turbo before and to know how it felt like? ... here... Nothing comes closer to driving a 1.5L ride that runs like a 3 litre ride...
Sam said, "Do you know why the car's cabin is full of gasoline?"
Me, " wah lan eh.... stop it lah..."
Sam, " hahahaha... heee hee hee... "
Sam, " You know, the fuel tank is like a dick... you rub it too much, it will shoot fuel..."
me, " wah please lah... telling the world fuel tank is a dick? Thats not the coolest thing to say bro..."
Sam, " hahahaha... heee hee hee... "
I shook my head and ignore the rest of the details which sam, with his hands drew diagrams in the air, elaborating what he did, why this and why that... oh... how very proud he was, arrogant like a kid kissing a girl for the first time.... oh what a prick he was... He kept on drawing his endless diagrams, interjected with pornographic shaking of his fist, the ejaculation of fuel and stuff,... I ignored him mostly, not the very least interested in him showing off his marbles, I just listened and can't help recalling the experience of driving in a gasoline filled turbocharged ride.
Sam is a perculiar person indeed. One that enjoys fixing up rides and showing off with his oil stained fingers, drawing endless diagrams in the air, that image too, I store away, and in my mental projector, I watch it again. The disgusted and anti-orgasmic feeling, that too, I felt it again as I watch it in my mental projector.
What a day it was....
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. 200 bhp Lancer 1.5 EX on emanage ultimate
+ another one Unichip Q in the same post
5. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
6. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
7. Space Chimpanzee's Lancer Ex 1.5 with Emanage Ultimate
Her unforgettable smile, luscious shoulder length hair, that walk that captivates the world and makes the world sway as she sways, her eyes that brightens the skies... I missed that laughter from one so demure, angelic voices that fill the very depths of our souls,...
Sam stares blankly, captivated by her beauty. Beyond the windows of the vios turbo as we left for tuning, he stares, not shy, saved by the black tinted reflective windows, minutes passed like hours, and captivated he was by the beauty across, what awkward minutes tells he O'er as he kept his eyes glued on her... I cannot help but imagine him drooling and panting like a hungery mongrol, disgusting the very nature of mankind itself.... thats sam.
This image of sam is stored away. And in my mental projector I can play it again and watch. The euphoric feeling and excitement, that too, I feel it again as I watch.
The owner of this fabulous ride has a turbo kit that is built by a famous chap in this modification circle. He shares a unique relationship with his original tuner and emphasises to sam not to mention anything about him visiting us and asking us to tune his ride. That saturday, sam sent me on test drive to pick up the possible faults and fixes required before tuning can commence.
After test drive...
Sam asked, " How is it ?", while giving me that half baked smile of his, and a futile attempt to conceal that innocent look, and his damned decision to send his tuner to test drive.
me, " Like that lor... cb... ", totally disgusted...
Sam, "hahaha... " covering his mouth with his oil stained hand...., "everything ok?"
Sam now gave me a even more convincing innocent look... omg...
I reported, "First,... the entire car is filled with smell of gasoline"... I have advised the owner to carry a fire extinguisher... Owner asked me , why?? WHY!?? why need fire extinguisher one?...
I continue with sam saying, "I told the owner,...err.... well... its better to have la..." trying very hard to downplay the situation... " your car is filled with the smell of gasoline leh... I think better to have la... just in case..., you dun smoke right?"
Sam laughs again... wah lan eh... you know sam really enjoys situations like this, where like a kid showing off how big and shiny his marbles are, demostrating his superior sharp shooting marble power with the kid next door... hiaz... kids...
There were other issues that I reported to sam, but none as compared to one that is of this nature... Thereafter, he started to rectify the setup, showing off his superior marbles yet again. I guessed he rectified it because he is not going to sit inside a cabin filled with gasoline himself? cb sam...
Vios is a very obedient car if the setup is done correctly. A 950kg car that runs 0~100 in an instant... turbo spools up at 3500 rpm, giving a good 'g' feeling as the car propels forward. We have done vios turbo before and to know how it felt like? ... here... Nothing comes closer to driving a 1.5L ride that runs like a 3 litre ride...
Sam said, "Do you know why the car's cabin is full of gasoline?"
Me, " wah lan eh.... stop it lah..."
Sam, " hahahaha... heee hee hee... "
Sam, " You know, the fuel tank is like a dick... you rub it too much, it will shoot fuel..."
me, " wah please lah... telling the world fuel tank is a dick? Thats not the coolest thing to say bro..."
Sam, " hahahaha... heee hee hee... "
I shook my head and ignore the rest of the details which sam, with his hands drew diagrams in the air, elaborating what he did, why this and why that... oh... how very proud he was, arrogant like a kid kissing a girl for the first time.... oh what a prick he was... He kept on drawing his endless diagrams, interjected with pornographic shaking of his fist, the ejaculation of fuel and stuff,... I ignored him mostly, not the very least interested in him showing off his marbles, I just listened and can't help recalling the experience of driving in a gasoline filled turbocharged ride.
Sam is a perculiar person indeed. One that enjoys fixing up rides and showing off with his oil stained fingers, drawing endless diagrams in the air, that image too, I store away, and in my mental projector, I watch it again. The disgusted and anti-orgasmic feeling, that too, I felt it again as I watch it in my mental projector.
What a day it was....
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. 200 bhp Lancer 1.5 EX on emanage ultimate
+ another one Unichip Q in the same post
5. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
6. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
7. Space Chimpanzee's Lancer Ex 1.5 with Emanage Ultimate
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Lancer 1.5 Ex Turbo Charged, What would you have done?
Lancer 1.5 Ex, What would you have done?
There are times in our lives, we look back in time, and wonder if we made the right decisions, did the right thing and at times regretted the decisions we made. Well, thats life...
Lancer Ex 1.5 is one of the most difficult rides to tune. With little or no information available from anyone, no one knows what the engine was capable of. Threading this thin line compounds high risks and little available knowledge together to produce a confusing enigma waiting to be deciphered.
According to sam, in order fix the cel code, you need 2 balls. If you hit the P1241 cel code, squeeze the left ball, if you hit the P1234 cel code, squeeze the right ball, and P1235, Squeeze both balls... You squeeze and squeeze both balls too much, all the code will suddenly appear, LPPL. Thats sam. It better you translate this to hokkien la... deengh lampa...
For the sake of general readership, I think breast is a better example... you squeeze both at the same time you get orgasm... oooohhh... its better you thread your fingers slowly up under the dress, gently feeling your way up the contours, gently lift up the satin cover, feeling the softness and soaking the warmth of naked skin, place the satin cover above and out of the way. Let venus arise, let the dress crumple and fold itself and its edge tickle the folds of your wrist, moving the palms, at the edge of everest, spread your index and thumbs apart, caressing the skinfold, then fill the palms with the softness of venus. The gentle rotational process of the palms and the subtle sounds of frictions caressing venus produce the perfect instrumental notes to hear. You may need to filter the engine noise and hear the subtle movements of your fingers. Slowly closing the index fingers and thumb around the peak of venus, now this is the part that tuning is all about. This is the part that describes tuning at its rawress form. puurrrrr....
Squeeze too hard... cannot... squeeze too soft... no feeling... gotta be just nice for the desired effect. And this comes with experience. hahaha... Tuning cars is exactly the same.
Whether it is balls or venus, the desired orgasm is within reach. kekeke... To describe whether it is unichip or emanage ultimate... here goes...
with your other hand, move slowly up the smoothness of the thigh... the smell of perfume and shampoo inter-twines itself at the base of the throat, deep breathing and a little yoga helps here... Snaking the mounts of your palms, feeling the icy complexion of the straights up to the skin folds of the thighs. Skills play a part here where the tuner requires a little coordination. While observing the rotation of the thumb and index finger, you ensure the other works it way along the folds of the skin, Unichip wise, stop here.... Ultimate wise, proceed to Nervana! Luscious black strands of hair cushions the transmission, giving the perfect thrusting experience when the turbo spools its max and prevents any form of anti-climax when you reach higher rpms. The greddy Ultimate experience. During cruising, the emanage ultimate provides the added lubrication to ensure smoothess between climaxes.
Well, if I go any futher to decribe tuning services, I have to put up a clause to ensure only people above 18 can read. hahaha...
I just talked to the owner... and emphasised on fore-play,... Warming up the engine before thrusting/boosting is extremely important. Like any form of excercise, a give the engine a good fore-play, and you'll be rewarded with a even better driving experience.
Fark, I write until my heart beat faster liaoz.... cannot take it anymore... need to slow down a little...
So, here's where the turbo timer comes into play... it allows you to rest while the engine warms-down by itself....
hahaha... Tuning lancer ex is exotic. What would you have done then?
If all you read is a bunch of soft porn know-hows... well, you're definately above 18 and have totally zero clue about cars. If you siphon and picked up the lines between the folds, either you're space chimpanzees from LMC or Nick/Ray and company.
If you have totally no clue at all... hmm.. pls try google search and observe the pros. Literally. And you're under 18. hahaha... Cars and beautiful gals are so closely related, its hard for anyone to be able to seperate the fusion between the 2.
So, in conclusion, Balls and venus is the solution to tuning lancer Ex. Yah, ball to you too... cheers!
Chiasmus as Bernhard Schlink describes it, and the eventual result of good-vs-bad is meaningless. Whether it is right or wrong, good or bad, ying-yang, to-be or not to-be... well, it reaches a point it becomes meaningless. Time being the component that compels change, in time, all will be evident.
ps:
I really dunno where to put this sentence... so put it here...
We dynoed the car at 200 bhp with the one running emanage ultimate... Have fun and drive safe...
There are times in our lives, we look back in time, and wonder if we made the right decisions, did the right thing and at times regretted the decisions we made. Well, thats life...
Lancer Ex 1.5 is one of the most difficult rides to tune. With little or no information available from anyone, no one knows what the engine was capable of. Threading this thin line compounds high risks and little available knowledge together to produce a confusing enigma waiting to be deciphered.
According to sam, in order fix the cel code, you need 2 balls. If you hit the P1241 cel code, squeeze the left ball, if you hit the P1234 cel code, squeeze the right ball, and P1235, Squeeze both balls... You squeeze and squeeze both balls too much, all the code will suddenly appear, LPPL. Thats sam. It better you translate this to hokkien la... deengh lampa...
For the sake of general readership, I think breast is a better example... you squeeze both at the same time you get orgasm... oooohhh... its better you thread your fingers slowly up under the dress, gently feeling your way up the contours, gently lift up the satin cover, feeling the softness and soaking the warmth of naked skin, place the satin cover above and out of the way. Let venus arise, let the dress crumple and fold itself and its edge tickle the folds of your wrist, moving the palms, at the edge of everest, spread your index and thumbs apart, caressing the skinfold, then fill the palms with the softness of venus. The gentle rotational process of the palms and the subtle sounds of frictions caressing venus produce the perfect instrumental notes to hear. You may need to filter the engine noise and hear the subtle movements of your fingers. Slowly closing the index fingers and thumb around the peak of venus, now this is the part that tuning is all about. This is the part that describes tuning at its rawress form. puurrrrr....
Squeeze too hard... cannot... squeeze too soft... no feeling... gotta be just nice for the desired effect. And this comes with experience. hahaha... Tuning cars is exactly the same.
Whether it is balls or venus, the desired orgasm is within reach. kekeke... To describe whether it is unichip or emanage ultimate... here goes...
with your other hand, move slowly up the smoothness of the thigh... the smell of perfume and shampoo inter-twines itself at the base of the throat, deep breathing and a little yoga helps here... Snaking the mounts of your palms, feeling the icy complexion of the straights up to the skin folds of the thighs. Skills play a part here where the tuner requires a little coordination. While observing the rotation of the thumb and index finger, you ensure the other works it way along the folds of the skin, Unichip wise, stop here.... Ultimate wise, proceed to Nervana! Luscious black strands of hair cushions the transmission, giving the perfect thrusting experience when the turbo spools its max and prevents any form of anti-climax when you reach higher rpms. The greddy Ultimate experience. During cruising, the emanage ultimate provides the added lubrication to ensure smoothess between climaxes.
Well, if I go any futher to decribe tuning services, I have to put up a clause to ensure only people above 18 can read. hahaha...
I just talked to the owner... and emphasised on fore-play,... Warming up the engine before thrusting/boosting is extremely important. Like any form of excercise, a give the engine a good fore-play, and you'll be rewarded with a even better driving experience.
Fark, I write until my heart beat faster liaoz.... cannot take it anymore... need to slow down a little...
So, here's where the turbo timer comes into play... it allows you to rest while the engine warms-down by itself....
hahaha... Tuning lancer ex is exotic. What would you have done then?
If all you read is a bunch of soft porn know-hows... well, you're definately above 18 and have totally zero clue about cars. If you siphon and picked up the lines between the folds, either you're space chimpanzees from LMC or Nick/Ray and company.
If you have totally no clue at all... hmm.. pls try google search and observe the pros. Literally. And you're under 18. hahaha... Cars and beautiful gals are so closely related, its hard for anyone to be able to seperate the fusion between the 2.
So, in conclusion, Balls and venus is the solution to tuning lancer Ex. Yah, ball to you too... cheers!
Chiasmus as Bernhard Schlink describes it, and the eventual result of good-vs-bad is meaningless. Whether it is right or wrong, good or bad, ying-yang, to-be or not to-be... well, it reaches a point it becomes meaningless. Time being the component that compels change, in time, all will be evident.
ps:
I really dunno where to put this sentence... so put it here...
We dynoed the car at 200 bhp with the one running emanage ultimate... Have fun and drive safe...
Left Behind
Left Behind
Red is the colour of Anxiety. Amber tell you the race is about to start. Red keeps you staring with numbers churning endlessly in your brains, the roar of the engine, the perfect launch, the perfect drag race.
I have my mildly souped up 1.6 litre japanese baby revving on the start line, glancing over the puny picanto on my right, I can't help but grin and smile to myself, the self fulfilling pride that my cold air intake gives is the perfect ingredient for my NA ride. Green On! Go!
I jammed my foot flat on the pedal, smiled again. hehe... I glanced at my side mirror to see that smoked turkey and proud that my newly installed straight through is gonna make that picanto think twice before revving next time... There was no image on the side mirror! The hatch-backed puny freak's front bumper started to get in front of my japanese bento, I was left behind. CB! I stepped harder on my japanese accelarator, any harder the pedal would dent my precious japanese floor board. My eyes opened wider as the freak picanto started his act of tearing up my japanese sushi. This farking korean kimchi left my screaming ride behind as he pull out of my shadows. "Psshht!" Wow, CB picanto got turbo! It's HKS SSQV reveals the turbocharger, what lies beneath the bonnet packs the picanto with so much power, I could only keep my pedal floored as the Picanto left my japanese bento behind. "urrghh.... ba-kei-ro!"
Picanto Turbo runs on a small turbo which spools up around 3500 rpm, upon reaching this magical number, the turbo's forced induction jams the cylinders with positive pressure that propels the kimchi onwards. Kia's engineering came a long way, if it was the North Koreans that manufactured this baby, I wouldn't be surprised to find nuclear powered battery cells inside... :) Tuning this ride is as fun as tuning a 650 bhp ride, everywhere you go, people would turn and give you that awe struck look, some would even go on and say the word "Picanto Turbo!!", with the OMG expression. The feeling of smacking a 1.6? hahaha... beyond words!
What we have on this ride, fully done up exhaust system, turbo charger, turbo inlet, tuned using Unichip Q. Perfect idling. No engine stalling blah blah blah... basically, a stock feeling turbo charged picanto, with enough safe reliable power to make you smile your way home.
Cornerings on this ride is surprising road hugging, we have tuned some running on coil-overs and handling wise, this ride has it. Even with the turbo charger installed, the clutch system and road handling retains the kallang rally standard. Gearing on the stock engine is a little too long, but with the turbo charger's kick in the butt feeling, this gearing is perfect.
A simple and straight forward setup, with no complications, yes, orgasm at its max. Kia picanto low pressure turbo kicks in at 3500 rpm, the rpm doesnt swipe the dashboard as fast as the wipers, but good enough to keep the owner happy.
Ken's ride enters the list as the fifth picanto turbo owner in sillypore.
I recently had the chance to commune with the bros from lancer club. Firstly this bunch of people are CRAZY! Yeah... siaoz one... hahaha... I am forbidden from listing thier names. Why? Coz, they are already farking famous, any more fame, they're fried! hahaha.... truely, this bunch of bananas are hard core sillpore car enthus! When you put me with enthus, hahaha... hell breaks loose... we went out tuning on 2 occasions... Once in a Lancer 1.5 Ex turbo running on Emanage ultimate, and in another occasion, on a Lancer 1.5Ex turbo running on Unichip Q. Well, all these monkeys now know first hand the differences between the 2 ecu. The question these monkeys asks are also complicated ones... so, I classify them as Chimpanzees... At times, the monkeys were very quiet in the car.. coz, they too felt the immense stress associated with tuning complicated cars... :) The stress level reduces only when the tuner resolves the problem... :)
These bunch of monkeys made tuning fun... we were all over sillypore... yeah... in order to test the Ex's reliability, we have to go high speeds... 150km/h ++... eh, these monkeys like very used to driving at 150++ leh... so, I classify them as Space Chimpanzees... hahaha...
So an evening filled with fun and laughter... With Space Chimpanzees... hahaha... These space chimps like Nick+Ray and company from the Swift sport turbo club have something in common... pretty girlfriends, I mean very pretty gals... hahaha... Well... fast cars and space chimps with pretty gals... sounds like a perfect combo to me... Sometimes, a bit distracting... you gotta keep you cool, relax, and stay focused on tuning the ride... hahaha...
Sam is the CB who calls the space chimps over... we waited and waited for them... hahaha... When they arrived, the base maps already done up already... all the fault codes like 1421, 1234, 1235 and 1033 all solved liaoz... hahaha... Anyway... sam wanted to share the tuning experience with space chimps la... he knows this is the kind of evening is not to be missed by them... so space chimps rushed down immediately to watch the show... :)
So, as promised... I didnt list your names... nor your car's description... just freaky space chimpanzees, ... hahaha.... Seriously, you guys rock! BTW, Tony Bro!! they know you too... you CB... hahaha.. nanti Aku pegi lu rumah mayan bola... hahaha
coming soon :
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. 200 bhp Lancer 1.5 EX on emanage ultimate
+ another one Unichip Q in the same post
5. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
6. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
yeah, i know,... long list... kekeke...
Red is the colour of Anxiety. Amber tell you the race is about to start. Red keeps you staring with numbers churning endlessly in your brains, the roar of the engine, the perfect launch, the perfect drag race.
I have my mildly souped up 1.6 litre japanese baby revving on the start line, glancing over the puny picanto on my right, I can't help but grin and smile to myself, the self fulfilling pride that my cold air intake gives is the perfect ingredient for my NA ride. Green On! Go!
I jammed my foot flat on the pedal, smiled again. hehe... I glanced at my side mirror to see that smoked turkey and proud that my newly installed straight through is gonna make that picanto think twice before revving next time... There was no image on the side mirror! The hatch-backed puny freak's front bumper started to get in front of my japanese bento, I was left behind. CB! I stepped harder on my japanese accelarator, any harder the pedal would dent my precious japanese floor board. My eyes opened wider as the freak picanto started his act of tearing up my japanese sushi. This farking korean kimchi left my screaming ride behind as he pull out of my shadows. "Psshht!" Wow, CB picanto got turbo! It's HKS SSQV reveals the turbocharger, what lies beneath the bonnet packs the picanto with so much power, I could only keep my pedal floored as the Picanto left my japanese bento behind. "urrghh.... ba-kei-ro!"
Picanto Turbo runs on a small turbo which spools up around 3500 rpm, upon reaching this magical number, the turbo's forced induction jams the cylinders with positive pressure that propels the kimchi onwards. Kia's engineering came a long way, if it was the North Koreans that manufactured this baby, I wouldn't be surprised to find nuclear powered battery cells inside... :) Tuning this ride is as fun as tuning a 650 bhp ride, everywhere you go, people would turn and give you that awe struck look, some would even go on and say the word "Picanto Turbo!!", with the OMG expression. The feeling of smacking a 1.6? hahaha... beyond words!
What we have on this ride, fully done up exhaust system, turbo charger, turbo inlet, tuned using Unichip Q. Perfect idling. No engine stalling blah blah blah... basically, a stock feeling turbo charged picanto, with enough safe reliable power to make you smile your way home.
Cornerings on this ride is surprising road hugging, we have tuned some running on coil-overs and handling wise, this ride has it. Even with the turbo charger installed, the clutch system and road handling retains the kallang rally standard. Gearing on the stock engine is a little too long, but with the turbo charger's kick in the butt feeling, this gearing is perfect.
A simple and straight forward setup, with no complications, yes, orgasm at its max. Kia picanto low pressure turbo kicks in at 3500 rpm, the rpm doesnt swipe the dashboard as fast as the wipers, but good enough to keep the owner happy.
Ken's ride enters the list as the fifth picanto turbo owner in sillypore.
I recently had the chance to commune with the bros from lancer club. Firstly this bunch of people are CRAZY! Yeah... siaoz one... hahaha... I am forbidden from listing thier names. Why? Coz, they are already farking famous, any more fame, they're fried! hahaha.... truely, this bunch of bananas are hard core sillpore car enthus! When you put me with enthus, hahaha... hell breaks loose... we went out tuning on 2 occasions... Once in a Lancer 1.5 Ex turbo running on Emanage ultimate, and in another occasion, on a Lancer 1.5Ex turbo running on Unichip Q. Well, all these monkeys now know first hand the differences between the 2 ecu. The question these monkeys asks are also complicated ones... so, I classify them as Chimpanzees... At times, the monkeys were very quiet in the car.. coz, they too felt the immense stress associated with tuning complicated cars... :) The stress level reduces only when the tuner resolves the problem... :)
These bunch of monkeys made tuning fun... we were all over sillypore... yeah... in order to test the Ex's reliability, we have to go high speeds... 150km/h ++... eh, these monkeys like very used to driving at 150++ leh... so, I classify them as Space Chimpanzees... hahaha...
So an evening filled with fun and laughter... With Space Chimpanzees... hahaha... These space chimps like Nick+Ray and company from the Swift sport turbo club have something in common... pretty girlfriends, I mean very pretty gals... hahaha... Well... fast cars and space chimps with pretty gals... sounds like a perfect combo to me... Sometimes, a bit distracting... you gotta keep you cool, relax, and stay focused on tuning the ride... hahaha...
Sam is the CB who calls the space chimps over... we waited and waited for them... hahaha... When they arrived, the base maps already done up already... all the fault codes like 1421, 1234, 1235 and 1033 all solved liaoz... hahaha... Anyway... sam wanted to share the tuning experience with space chimps la... he knows this is the kind of evening is not to be missed by them... so space chimps rushed down immediately to watch the show... :)
So, as promised... I didnt list your names... nor your car's description... just freaky space chimpanzees, ... hahaha.... Seriously, you guys rock! BTW, Tony Bro!! they know you too... you CB... hahaha.. nanti Aku pegi lu rumah mayan bola... hahaha
coming soon :
1. Brain's STI
2. 2.0L 480bhp JDM WRX on Dominator 1 turbo (track tuned)
3. Picanto NA with Unichip
4. 200 bhp Lancer 1.5 EX on emanage ultimate
+ another one Unichip Q in the same post
5. EJ20 Subaru TS running on Emanage Ultimate
6. WRX STI running on TD05-20G turbo
yeah, i know,... long list... kekeke...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
How to get famous
How to get famous
Edwin told me that day, while playing soccer, there is that infamous neighbourhood crazy old man, who walks around terrorising people. There was once, Edwin saw him running around like a kido, caught a lizard in his hands, bit off the head of the lizard and started munching on it with his 2 front tooth. The crazy fella had that food tasting judge look on his face as he figured the lizard's head with tongue and tooth, lizards, and the various reasons why people don't need lizards to be part of their diet. Yes, he continued with the rest of the lizard with its tail still sticking out, wringling about freely, painting his chin as the tail wags away. With his slimed lips still holding the wagging tail, the crazy fella continued his festa while looking at the crumpled faces of the soccer players. Everyone was staring at him.
By now, famous. Fame like money is never enough to satisfy, so Crazy fella one day was staring at Edwin's soccer kakis again. No lizard this time... hahaha... he has his 2 paws in front of his chest, scrawling around the adjacent void deck and occasionally looking in the direction of the soccer field. For the longest time, he was staring blankly at Edwin.
At his own pace, crazily, Lizard man walks over to the soccer field. Terrorised! Everyone stopped. Stared. No one moved for fear of the unknown. Lizard man gave a partly frustrated look at the players which gave everyone the chills down thier spines... Scrawling at his pace which felt like eternity, crazily to the plastic rubbish bin covers which the players took and used it as their goal post, the crazy fella pulled down his pants,... OMG... No, he didnt masturbate. Half squat. What happened next made the spectators turn their heads, brows touching and faint. A thick lustrous flow of shit came gushing out of the crazy fella asshole! Neck's streched skywards, hands still in front of his chest... the gooey splatter made everyone's stomach flutter to the rythem of the ooze... Sandy coloured ooze at the base of the goal post... Talk abut good luck charms... hahaha... bewitched!
Thats the full-time whistle man! Everyone waved each other away... No one remembered seeing the crazy fella wipe his ass that day.... OMG...
Famous!
Coming soon...
1. Picanto Turbo
2. Brian's JDM STi
Sam farking turbo charge anything.... eh... dun play play hor... 1100cc Turbocharged, 950kg... kekeke.... You just need to floor your average 1.6 ride, and see yourself unable to pull away from a picanto... omg... can't sleep liaoz... hahahaha....
Edwin told me that day, while playing soccer, there is that infamous neighbourhood crazy old man, who walks around terrorising people. There was once, Edwin saw him running around like a kido, caught a lizard in his hands, bit off the head of the lizard and started munching on it with his 2 front tooth. The crazy fella had that food tasting judge look on his face as he figured the lizard's head with tongue and tooth, lizards, and the various reasons why people don't need lizards to be part of their diet. Yes, he continued with the rest of the lizard with its tail still sticking out, wringling about freely, painting his chin as the tail wags away. With his slimed lips still holding the wagging tail, the crazy fella continued his festa while looking at the crumpled faces of the soccer players. Everyone was staring at him.
By now, famous. Fame like money is never enough to satisfy, so Crazy fella one day was staring at Edwin's soccer kakis again. No lizard this time... hahaha... he has his 2 paws in front of his chest, scrawling around the adjacent void deck and occasionally looking in the direction of the soccer field. For the longest time, he was staring blankly at Edwin.
At his own pace, crazily, Lizard man walks over to the soccer field. Terrorised! Everyone stopped. Stared. No one moved for fear of the unknown. Lizard man gave a partly frustrated look at the players which gave everyone the chills down thier spines... Scrawling at his pace which felt like eternity, crazily to the plastic rubbish bin covers which the players took and used it as their goal post, the crazy fella pulled down his pants,... OMG... No, he didnt masturbate. Half squat. What happened next made the spectators turn their heads, brows touching and faint. A thick lustrous flow of shit came gushing out of the crazy fella asshole! Neck's streched skywards, hands still in front of his chest... the gooey splatter made everyone's stomach flutter to the rythem of the ooze... Sandy coloured ooze at the base of the goal post... Talk abut good luck charms... hahaha... bewitched!
Thats the full-time whistle man! Everyone waved each other away... No one remembered seeing the crazy fella wipe his ass that day.... OMG...
Famous!
Coming soon...
1. Picanto Turbo
2. Brian's JDM STi
Sam farking turbo charge anything.... eh... dun play play hor... 1100cc Turbocharged, 950kg... kekeke.... You just need to floor your average 1.6 ride, and see yourself unable to pull away from a picanto... omg... can't sleep liaoz... hahahaha....
Subaru STi boost up
Subaru STi boost up
Lately so farking busy... but... a little time squeezed out to talk cock is essential to the well-being of our minds. My friend Tony told me 2 weeks ago... he was cruising on the highway and suddenly from under the passenger area, he heard a loud "explosion".
Farker Tony must be imagining he is in Iraq fighting the farking terrorist Bush war, and imagines the Shiite militia shooting his farking ass... hahaha... Ai yah... He asked me how come got explosion one... He asked me this and that la... I just told him... "You sway la.... hahaha" Really la... I think think and think ... cb must be this farker Tony never bath that day... hahaha... I told him Golf ball hit his car la... hahaha... this farker Tony cannot give chance one... otherwise he start to talk cock with you, you surely pingsan and surrender... Eh Tony, "Kau pegi toilet gon jiang... jangan ka-cheow ka-cheow ku tau!"
Anyway,... he called me 2~3 days ago la... he was washing his car and saw what seems to be a dent cause by a stray golf ball.
This Subaru JDM STi is owned by the winner of the last PG 5 laps race. Sam know this fella quite well... using his stock JDM Sti, he skillfully wringles his way to the top. According to sam, pole position and podium finishing is nothing surprising for this owner... Well... I did get a few driving tip from the owner... kekeke... but frankly, it wasnt as natural to me as it was for him. Anyway... we took this stock STi, put in a better flowing air filter and retuned his STi....kekeke...
For various political reasons, I am forbidden to devulge on more details to what was done on this track car, but, one thing is for sure... he said, "I enjoy the power...." kekeke...
I still have a Kia Picanto Turbo which I will definately do a write-up on this one soon... Yes la brudder,... Picanto Turbo!! hahaha... This is on of the most fun cars I've tune so far, with a HKS BOV installed, omg... everywhere we went, people are staring at us... those tiong car I tuned, like Alan's and Xiao Jian's... yah, got people see... but picanto... people stare with mouth open wide-wide!! hahaha... very a 800cc Picanto turbo with full boost at 4000 rpm... it make you wanna get one and play.... serious... anyway... I save this farking shiok shiok steam steam story for next post.... Then after that... Brian's JDM STI with TD05-18G turbo boosting 1.9 bars....
Till then... happy boosting!
Lately so farking busy... but... a little time squeezed out to talk cock is essential to the well-being of our minds. My friend Tony told me 2 weeks ago... he was cruising on the highway and suddenly from under the passenger area, he heard a loud "explosion".
Farker Tony must be imagining he is in Iraq fighting the farking terrorist Bush war, and imagines the Shiite militia shooting his farking ass... hahaha... Ai yah... He asked me how come got explosion one... He asked me this and that la... I just told him... "You sway la.... hahaha" Really la... I think think and think ... cb must be this farker Tony never bath that day... hahaha... I told him Golf ball hit his car la... hahaha... this farker Tony cannot give chance one... otherwise he start to talk cock with you, you surely pingsan and surrender... Eh Tony, "Kau pegi toilet gon jiang... jangan ka-cheow ka-cheow ku tau!"
Anyway,... he called me 2~3 days ago la... he was washing his car and saw what seems to be a dent cause by a stray golf ball.
This Subaru JDM STi is owned by the winner of the last PG 5 laps race. Sam know this fella quite well... using his stock JDM Sti, he skillfully wringles his way to the top. According to sam, pole position and podium finishing is nothing surprising for this owner... Well... I did get a few driving tip from the owner... kekeke... but frankly, it wasnt as natural to me as it was for him. Anyway... we took this stock STi, put in a better flowing air filter and retuned his STi....kekeke...
For various political reasons, I am forbidden to devulge on more details to what was done on this track car, but, one thing is for sure... he said, "I enjoy the power...." kekeke...
I still have a Kia Picanto Turbo which I will definately do a write-up on this one soon... Yes la brudder,... Picanto Turbo!! hahaha... This is on of the most fun cars I've tune so far, with a HKS BOV installed, omg... everywhere we went, people are staring at us... those tiong car I tuned, like Alan's and Xiao Jian's... yah, got people see... but picanto... people stare with mouth open wide-wide!! hahaha... very a 800cc Picanto turbo with full boost at 4000 rpm... it make you wanna get one and play.... serious... anyway... I save this farking shiok shiok steam steam story for next post.... Then after that... Brian's JDM STI with TD05-18G turbo boosting 1.9 bars....
Till then... happy boosting!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Edwin's Subaru WRX
Edwin's Subaru WRX
I was talking to one of my cb friend, and was told that his friend went to geylang to have a jolly good time. The moment this farker unzipped his pants, pulled down his underwear, the girl with popping eyes, mouth open wide, said, "... wah sir... your cock very big!..." That idoit really an asshole la... the moment he stick his banana into the girl, the girl screamed! " oooohhh...." That farker got a shock and screamed! Idoit... The girl got stunned by his screaming, herself stopped screaming, and asked him what happened... "... is everything ok?..." kekeke... Asshole replied,"... your hole is sooo big, my balls also went in...." hahaha... this is king cb speaking man....
Edwin is a long time friend la... from his lancer, evo 3 gsr days... till now... a couple years have flown by already... This wrx runs on triple plate clutch, GT30 turbo, forged pistons, powervalve, AVCR boost controller, monster sized top mount intercooler, big big injectors, regulator, pumps, 2.0 upgrade to 2.5 block and many many many more... ecu? Reflash.
Gt30 on his WRX 2.5L setup seems to work quite well... in the past, I have tuned a couple of rides running on GT30, and the results is nothing worth mentioning. But in Edwin's setup, omg... it was good. Good spool ups not as laggy as the other setups we tried. This turbo however lacks the 'G' factor, the turbo spools up a little too linearly to produce any significant 'g' force, unlike a VF28 for example, this turbo certainly lacks the 'g' factor. However, churning a 500bhp on this turbo is not an issue...
We didnt take too long tuning this ride so most of the time is spent talking cock, catching up on old times, and discussing on how to modify his ride futher...
Gear 1, boring... if you have that sticker that says, "Girl, please remove all restrictive clothing, including bra, as this ride is turbocharged. blah blah ..." you can remove that sticker now... Gear 2,... wah lan eh... sleep liaoz.... boring!!
Gear 3. All of a sudden, all the money spent on this turbo suddenly seems logical. From the moment you floored the accelerator, the car will pull and pull all the way till 8800 rpm! Speed check, 160 km/h.
Gear 4. Car pulls easily with massive bhp onslaught from the huge turbo, the speedometer takes a relentless swipe on the dashboard, if you are still able to tear your eyes off the road and look at the way the speedometer attacking the numbers, You. Got. Balls! Speed check 240km/h
Gear 5. Based on Lawrence experience on GT30... running to 300 km/h, "No problem, very easy... not scary la... where got fast... normal mah..." crazy farker... going to 300 km/h, well, the rpm needle moves at the same rate as the speedometer... If you're having a great time screwing this ride, remember to pull your balls out after you're done...
GT30 is the turbo for making sure the speedometer's spring get a full workout, and making sure the car get a good blowjob from the amount of air smashing the windscreen at 300 km/h. If you're sick of trying too hard to spin that top speed numbers, try this turbo.
Gerald just came back from Sepang track. The last time he was there, he was on GT30 turbo, and he clocked a good 2:47 that day. Last sunday, he was there again. This time with green turbo. On Green turbo, Gerald took his 502bhp wrx sti, confident of breaking his personal best on sepang, only managed a 2:54. Very dissapointed he was... hahaha... Little did he know that the intercooler piping had uncoupled itself making him lose precious boost pressure needed for the 2 bars of boost.... so, with a half-past-six hardware, he managed a 2:54... hmm... very good!
I was talking to Edwin aka Lan Chieow Lang... he asked me, "my car got 500bhp meh?"... I replied, "... no lah... 480 bhp only" Then he seriously replied me, "... Yah, I also think it is around 480"... I gave him the middle finger. Last time, after the cb garman hantam the 7% gst, a lot of cb places started to give 1 cent change... really knn... lucky nowadays nobody give 1 cent change already... I think edwin still got a lot of 1 cent in his pockets... farker...
how to put frog recipies here.... hmm....
I was talking to one of my cb friend, and was told that his friend went to geylang to have a jolly good time. The moment this farker unzipped his pants, pulled down his underwear, the girl with popping eyes, mouth open wide, said, "... wah sir... your cock very big!..." That idoit really an asshole la... the moment he stick his banana into the girl, the girl screamed! " oooohhh...." That farker got a shock and screamed! Idoit... The girl got stunned by his screaming, herself stopped screaming, and asked him what happened... "... is everything ok?..." kekeke... Asshole replied,"... your hole is sooo big, my balls also went in...." hahaha... this is king cb speaking man....
Edwin is a long time friend la... from his lancer, evo 3 gsr days... till now... a couple years have flown by already... This wrx runs on triple plate clutch, GT30 turbo, forged pistons, powervalve, AVCR boost controller, monster sized top mount intercooler, big big injectors, regulator, pumps, 2.0 upgrade to 2.5 block and many many many more... ecu? Reflash.
Gt30 on his WRX 2.5L setup seems to work quite well... in the past, I have tuned a couple of rides running on GT30, and the results is nothing worth mentioning. But in Edwin's setup, omg... it was good. Good spool ups not as laggy as the other setups we tried. This turbo however lacks the 'G' factor, the turbo spools up a little too linearly to produce any significant 'g' force, unlike a VF28 for example, this turbo certainly lacks the 'g' factor. However, churning a 500bhp on this turbo is not an issue...
We didnt take too long tuning this ride so most of the time is spent talking cock, catching up on old times, and discussing on how to modify his ride futher...
Gear 1, boring... if you have that sticker that says, "Girl, please remove all restrictive clothing, including bra, as this ride is turbocharged. blah blah ..." you can remove that sticker now... Gear 2,... wah lan eh... sleep liaoz.... boring!!
Gear 3. All of a sudden, all the money spent on this turbo suddenly seems logical. From the moment you floored the accelerator, the car will pull and pull all the way till 8800 rpm! Speed check, 160 km/h.
Gear 4. Car pulls easily with massive bhp onslaught from the huge turbo, the speedometer takes a relentless swipe on the dashboard, if you are still able to tear your eyes off the road and look at the way the speedometer attacking the numbers, You. Got. Balls! Speed check 240km/h
Gear 5. Based on Lawrence experience on GT30... running to 300 km/h, "No problem, very easy... not scary la... where got fast... normal mah..." crazy farker... going to 300 km/h, well, the rpm needle moves at the same rate as the speedometer... If you're having a great time screwing this ride, remember to pull your balls out after you're done...
GT30 is the turbo for making sure the speedometer's spring get a full workout, and making sure the car get a good blowjob from the amount of air smashing the windscreen at 300 km/h. If you're sick of trying too hard to spin that top speed numbers, try this turbo.
Gerald just came back from Sepang track. The last time he was there, he was on GT30 turbo, and he clocked a good 2:47 that day. Last sunday, he was there again. This time with green turbo. On Green turbo, Gerald took his 502bhp wrx sti, confident of breaking his personal best on sepang, only managed a 2:54. Very dissapointed he was... hahaha... Little did he know that the intercooler piping had uncoupled itself making him lose precious boost pressure needed for the 2 bars of boost.... so, with a half-past-six hardware, he managed a 2:54... hmm... very good!
I was talking to Edwin aka Lan Chieow Lang... he asked me, "my car got 500bhp meh?"... I replied, "... no lah... 480 bhp only" Then he seriously replied me, "... Yah, I also think it is around 480"... I gave him the middle finger. Last time, after the cb garman hantam the 7% gst, a lot of cb places started to give 1 cent change... really knn... lucky nowadays nobody give 1 cent change already... I think edwin still got a lot of 1 cent in his pockets... farker...
how to put frog recipies here.... hmm....
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Cinta ini membunuh ku
cinta ini membunuh ku
One of my fravourite indonesian song, cinta ini membunuh ku. Describes my tuning passion perfectly.
My fravourite quote is from Romeo and Juliet
These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. (II.6.9-11)
This blog started as a form of entertainment, a way of expressing myself and it started as a vent for my exploding excitment from an evening of andrenaline and to help myself get some sleep in the wee hours of the night.
Tuning, what the fark is tuning? Tuning is like screwing tight a jar of milk. Screw not tight enough, the contents spoil. Screw too tight, the jar spoil. Must be just nice.
Hardware, what the fark is hardware? Hardware is like a going to the bookstore, buy yourself a can of paint. The paint only costs 1 dollar. Then buy a brush for $1.5. The moment the brush touches the canvas, those cheap paint and brush transforms into a million dollar painting. If the painter is a monkey, it will still cost you. If the painter is an elephant, you still gotta pay alot for the artwork. Well, you can say the novelty of an animal painting is invaluable. Of course it works, but in comparison to Da vinci's you don't have to spent too long to recognise its values. Something that you can easily recognise without much comtemplation.
Integrating tuning and hardware together, you will know that the painting can only be as good as the painter and the painter can only perform with the right tools.
Till date, I have my fair share of fire and powder. My triumph and defeats. In the rules of averages, you will know that there exists in any situation, 80% of heads and 20% of tails. In general, if you're capable, 80% will say you're good, while 20% say you suck.
In life, that 20% stings and hurts much more than those good times. Your wife never remembers the good in you, those times you held her hands, those times you look into her eyes and see beyond the veil, the love and the pain you have seen through the years. Beyond the wrinkle, beyond the tide that change, you held her hand and it is those very sting that held their barbs and accumulate over the years. Yes, mistakes and wrongs are but human. In those situations, this theory never seem to make any sense. Cinta ini membunuh ku!
Still the draw of andrenaline, advancing technology and drag race pulls me closer to hell than ever. The memories of seeing the cars I tune roar past the finishing line consumes me totally. The friendship I share with the owners, not forgetting alot of them like Jia xiong , ronny and lawrence... they normally came with their girlfriend... woah... distracting. Like a thirst that burns deep in my throat, I am drawn to the scent of their presence. Saturday, Jia xiong came down, then sam saw his girlfriend... then he say,..."... when's the last time your wife treats you like this..." hahaha... envy envy... hahaha... Please, not the lustful kind of envy, if you know what I mean.
I have a theory in life, ... whatever makes you laugh, remember. For it is these things in life that are precious.
Your kids, your girlfriend, you closer CB friends that show you middle finger and you can still laugh... yes, those things are precious. I show Sam middle finger... he open his eyes big big... then slowly his oily face cracked and smile widely at me before bursting into laughter.
Sam say my blog is so well written, nobody will modify car already... reading this is orgasmic enough, like porn. You see porn, you no need to go geylang. He say fark tissue paper cheaper also its only 20 cents... Then he say I should put my photo on the blog, so people can see my face and masturbate.
I told you la, sam is a monkey.
Finally, in the 20% failed cases, I offer my apologise. We never intended it this way, sometimes, when luck is against us, when things just happen to happen, when chain of events went awry, things does happen. When people start visiting rivary workshops, omg... hell... I think you know what I mean... If you have been in this modification realm long enough, you will start to learn that the petty childish rivary still exists. Alot of times, these rivary stories are outside workshops. If you're unsure... ask around. Equip yourselves with these valuable knowledge, beyond the veil of advertisement and you'll see what I mean. Sam's unique welding skills sets him apart and sticking out like cow balls...
If you ask me about rivary stories, I wouldn't say. hahaha... why should I? I can be trusted in that sense, it work both way... so fark you...
Car modification should retain its sanity, its fun and its andrenaline. Let keep it this way, the way we enjoy it to be.
Cinta ini membunuh ku!!
One of my fravourite indonesian song, cinta ini membunuh ku. Describes my tuning passion perfectly.
My fravourite quote is from Romeo and Juliet
These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. (II.6.9-11)
This blog started as a form of entertainment, a way of expressing myself and it started as a vent for my exploding excitment from an evening of andrenaline and to help myself get some sleep in the wee hours of the night.
Tuning, what the fark is tuning? Tuning is like screwing tight a jar of milk. Screw not tight enough, the contents spoil. Screw too tight, the jar spoil. Must be just nice.
Hardware, what the fark is hardware? Hardware is like a going to the bookstore, buy yourself a can of paint. The paint only costs 1 dollar. Then buy a brush for $1.5. The moment the brush touches the canvas, those cheap paint and brush transforms into a million dollar painting. If the painter is a monkey, it will still cost you. If the painter is an elephant, you still gotta pay alot for the artwork. Well, you can say the novelty of an animal painting is invaluable. Of course it works, but in comparison to Da vinci's you don't have to spent too long to recognise its values. Something that you can easily recognise without much comtemplation.
Integrating tuning and hardware together, you will know that the painting can only be as good as the painter and the painter can only perform with the right tools.
Till date, I have my fair share of fire and powder. My triumph and defeats. In the rules of averages, you will know that there exists in any situation, 80% of heads and 20% of tails. In general, if you're capable, 80% will say you're good, while 20% say you suck.
In life, that 20% stings and hurts much more than those good times. Your wife never remembers the good in you, those times you held her hands, those times you look into her eyes and see beyond the veil, the love and the pain you have seen through the years. Beyond the wrinkle, beyond the tide that change, you held her hand and it is those very sting that held their barbs and accumulate over the years. Yes, mistakes and wrongs are but human. In those situations, this theory never seem to make any sense. Cinta ini membunuh ku!
Still the draw of andrenaline, advancing technology and drag race pulls me closer to hell than ever. The memories of seeing the cars I tune roar past the finishing line consumes me totally. The friendship I share with the owners, not forgetting alot of them like Jia xiong , ronny and lawrence... they normally came with their girlfriend... woah... distracting. Like a thirst that burns deep in my throat, I am drawn to the scent of their presence. Saturday, Jia xiong came down, then sam saw his girlfriend... then he say,..."... when's the last time your wife treats you like this..." hahaha... envy envy... hahaha... Please, not the lustful kind of envy, if you know what I mean.
I have a theory in life, ... whatever makes you laugh, remember. For it is these things in life that are precious.
Your kids, your girlfriend, you closer CB friends that show you middle finger and you can still laugh... yes, those things are precious. I show Sam middle finger... he open his eyes big big... then slowly his oily face cracked and smile widely at me before bursting into laughter.
Sam say my blog is so well written, nobody will modify car already... reading this is orgasmic enough, like porn. You see porn, you no need to go geylang. He say fark tissue paper cheaper also its only 20 cents... Then he say I should put my photo on the blog, so people can see my face and masturbate.
I told you la, sam is a monkey.
Finally, in the 20% failed cases, I offer my apologise. We never intended it this way, sometimes, when luck is against us, when things just happen to happen, when chain of events went awry, things does happen. When people start visiting rivary workshops, omg... hell... I think you know what I mean... If you have been in this modification realm long enough, you will start to learn that the petty childish rivary still exists. Alot of times, these rivary stories are outside workshops. If you're unsure... ask around. Equip yourselves with these valuable knowledge, beyond the veil of advertisement and you'll see what I mean. Sam's unique welding skills sets him apart and sticking out like cow balls...
If you ask me about rivary stories, I wouldn't say. hahaha... why should I? I can be trusted in that sense, it work both way... so fark you...
Car modification should retain its sanity, its fun and its andrenaline. Let keep it this way, the way we enjoy it to be.
Cinta ini membunuh ku!!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Opel Zafira 1.8 Turbo charged
Opel Zafira 1.8 Turbo charged
Opel Zafira is not a common sight in sillypore. Turbo charged Zafira, I bet this is the only one in sillypore. In Ang moh country, this car is called Opel Vaunxhall, damn stylo-milo, then when come to sillypore, the name became a little more localised and the name zafira now sounds super local, like Jalan Eunos and geylang Lorong 18.
Imagine Orchard road is call Jln Orin-Jut, I think nobody will go liaoz...
What we have in this ride is a bolt-on turbo kit, a properly sized intercooler, cast exhaust manifold, Garrett GT25 turbo and tuned using Unichip Q. Zafira comes stock with 140 bhp and with a turbo charger, we can expect a good 220 bhp on this spruced up ride.
We tune and tune and ended up at geylang again. Hey, there is a famous prawn noodle stall there that sells prawn noodles at $3.50 per bowl, inside, they give you pig's tail, small intestine, pork ribs and prawns. The soup of this noodle is damn solid la. Although not as powderful as katong's prawn noodle, this particular stall is one of our fravourite tuning stops. Well, according to sam, he say can eat noodle and see girls... hahaha... everytime we sucks the noodle into his mouth, his eye would oogle at china girls and their short mini-skirts. hahaha... The stall beside sells fried dumplings which goes perfectly with the noodles.
Owner is very sociable and he views things very differently from normal people. We enjoyed his company very much and we had no difficulty talking cock and the entire tuning session is filled with laugher and I think everyone enjoyed themselves that evening. Owner complements sam for his tuning services and especially when the tuning package includes a sight seeing tour in geylang hahahahah...
Putting back the previous mapping done by @DM into the car, the engine starts to ping, similar to the case in our Kia Picanto friend who had the same experience. Once done tuning, we had the chance to try with a Honda Integra Type R. So, CB sam got nothing better to do, he decided to try try with the type R. On highway, even with the solid european insulation in our Zafira, we can hear the type R engine pulling hard on ECP. Type R weaved sharply to the right, sam weaved immediately to the left, seeing the straight clear in front, both car floored. Zafira's GT25 responded immediately to the driver's input and at 3000 rpm, the turbo propels the car forward, we saw ourselves inching away from the Type R and at 4500 rpm, we are propelling away.... Nice.
Overall, this is car is very drivable with the turbo. Car feels light and moving in sillypore traffic is a breeze. Fuel used is Ron 95 and conservative boost levels for a 220~240 bhp power. Hardware wise, a little bit of touch-up is required on the engine hoses and stuff which sam will be busy with in later on... other then that, its excellent.
ps:
Sam just came back from track... will update once I get the stories... :) Heard Nick went and sam say nick drive like pro for a first timer on track! Everyone enjoyed themselves very much... from the sound of his voice, no doubt!
Opel Zafira is not a common sight in sillypore. Turbo charged Zafira, I bet this is the only one in sillypore. In Ang moh country, this car is called Opel Vaunxhall, damn stylo-milo, then when come to sillypore, the name became a little more localised and the name zafira now sounds super local, like Jalan Eunos and geylang Lorong 18.
Imagine Orchard road is call Jln Orin-Jut, I think nobody will go liaoz...
What we have in this ride is a bolt-on turbo kit, a properly sized intercooler, cast exhaust manifold, Garrett GT25 turbo and tuned using Unichip Q. Zafira comes stock with 140 bhp and with a turbo charger, we can expect a good 220 bhp on this spruced up ride.
We tune and tune and ended up at geylang again. Hey, there is a famous prawn noodle stall there that sells prawn noodles at $3.50 per bowl, inside, they give you pig's tail, small intestine, pork ribs and prawns. The soup of this noodle is damn solid la. Although not as powderful as katong's prawn noodle, this particular stall is one of our fravourite tuning stops. Well, according to sam, he say can eat noodle and see girls... hahaha... everytime we sucks the noodle into his mouth, his eye would oogle at china girls and their short mini-skirts. hahaha... The stall beside sells fried dumplings which goes perfectly with the noodles.
Owner is very sociable and he views things very differently from normal people. We enjoyed his company very much and we had no difficulty talking cock and the entire tuning session is filled with laugher and I think everyone enjoyed themselves that evening. Owner complements sam for his tuning services and especially when the tuning package includes a sight seeing tour in geylang hahahahah...
Putting back the previous mapping done by @DM into the car, the engine starts to ping, similar to the case in our Kia Picanto friend who had the same experience. Once done tuning, we had the chance to try with a Honda Integra Type R. So, CB sam got nothing better to do, he decided to try try with the type R. On highway, even with the solid european insulation in our Zafira, we can hear the type R engine pulling hard on ECP. Type R weaved sharply to the right, sam weaved immediately to the left, seeing the straight clear in front, both car floored. Zafira's GT25 responded immediately to the driver's input and at 3000 rpm, the turbo propels the car forward, we saw ourselves inching away from the Type R and at 4500 rpm, we are propelling away.... Nice.
Overall, this is car is very drivable with the turbo. Car feels light and moving in sillypore traffic is a breeze. Fuel used is Ron 95 and conservative boost levels for a 220~240 bhp power. Hardware wise, a little bit of touch-up is required on the engine hoses and stuff which sam will be busy with in later on... other then that, its excellent.
ps:
Sam just came back from track... will update once I get the stories... :) Heard Nick went and sam say nick drive like pro for a first timer on track! Everyone enjoyed themselves very much... from the sound of his voice, no doubt!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Sibeh Tua Pao injector cleaner
Sibeh Tua Pao injector cleaner
Yesterday, our 1.5 TS turbo came over to inform us that his car now drives wierd. And started to discribe the symtoms to us the moment he floored the accelerator, the car started to jerk like a horse and cannot rev past 4000 rpm. When he describes the problem, he also informed us that these symtoms occured only after he poured in Sibeh Tua Pao injector cleaner into his engine.
Hahaha... most of us already know that these CB products really does their job farking well. but, the farking problem is that when it really does what it claims to do, will it deterimental to the health of the engine?
What happened here was that the Super Tua Pao injector cleaner from bangala started to scrub the injector clean like nobody's business, so clean until the farking injector when spray, not only spray small small quantities, now spray mega amount of fuel into the engine. Now the asshole so big, the moment the hole open, everything come out. CB farking flood the engine with fuel lor... now now... before you start to preach like sam... it is my cb duty to inform you that the engineers in toyota and subaru also not stupid lah... got something call endurance and stress test lor... they let the farking engine run like they own kuwait oil wells... then after donkey hours later, they check the injectors and all other more common parts like pistons and stuff... so, you bet they know about slug blah blah blah... anyway, our usual RON 98, 95 etc contains detergent to clean the injectors. Not just caltex la... so, fark ok... but, what better way to prove it than to have someone tried it already....
Run-in engine. WTF is that... it is also to allow all these CB carbon and shit build-up to equlibrum. Meaning, after 5000 km or so, I expect to retune this TS again. Fark.
But, ok lah... tuning is fun and dinner at jalan kayu also not bad.
Last night, CB sam tell me he studied Law. knn... not study lor... its Study LAW. Wah... knn, my eye pop out, jaws wide open until bubble in my mouth... staring at his sibeh solomen face in disbelief... wah... then hor... to prove he smarter than me, he asked me.
Sam, "ok. I ask you. Money lending need license or not?"
blinking like Albert eistien at me with that poker face
Me, "need Lar. cb"
Sam, "No Need! Reallyyyyyy.... hee hee hee hee hee" covers his mouth and smiling behind his hands, so damn proud he prove my stupidity He was so sure that he made me felt damn farking silly and stupid.
He then turn to our TS friend. "Eh, what you think" Our TS friend is studying law in school now...
TS friend, "No need..."
WOW... I ate the humble pie man... cb.
If I got no dick, I might just blush to death on the spot. Then, I said, " For the sake of PRIDE, I will prove you wrong. I too studied law. Seriously. And for the sake of my farking pride, I will prove you wrong and not just that. I will put it on my blog site for eternal rememberence!"
He also say no need paid up capital blah blah ... hmm... ok... fine.
They all laughed at my arrogance and feeble attempts to save my embarrassment. I told sam, he is faking outdated liaoz. And, he doesnt read. hahaha... nevermind, i gentleman one... He even describes to me his experiences with his own former credit company, CID, RCB and all the likes of CB ABCDEFG... so,... pls.
Website to Singapore statues online
Chapter 188 -> Moneylenders Act from ministry of law
Rule 3. Security deposit placed with Accountant-Genral under section 5(5)(C)...... so how much deposit...
license is $1200 under rule 5 per year.
From sillypore moneylener's license, heres the requirements:
The following are some of the criteria for the grant of a Moneylender's licence:
...
the applicant and every person who is or will be responsible for the management of the business is familiar with the provisions of the Moneylenders Act 2008 and its Rules;
the proposed business premises to be licensed is suitable for the conduct of the moneylending business; and
a security deposit of $20,000 for every place of business for the proper conduct of the business, has been placed with the Accountant-General. The security deposit is to be provided in the form of an irrevocable Banker’s Guarantee upon approval of your application.
Got it from Insolvency and Public Trustee's Office website, under registry of moneylenders.
So, who is the bodoh now... hahaha... Then, he said things about hire purchases... hiaz... i think i won't continue with this law law thing here...
Pride!
Yesterday, our 1.5 TS turbo came over to inform us that his car now drives wierd. And started to discribe the symtoms to us the moment he floored the accelerator, the car started to jerk like a horse and cannot rev past 4000 rpm. When he describes the problem, he also informed us that these symtoms occured only after he poured in Sibeh Tua Pao injector cleaner into his engine.
Hahaha... most of us already know that these CB products really does their job farking well. but, the farking problem is that when it really does what it claims to do, will it deterimental to the health of the engine?
What happened here was that the Super Tua Pao injector cleaner from bangala started to scrub the injector clean like nobody's business, so clean until the farking injector when spray, not only spray small small quantities, now spray mega amount of fuel into the engine. Now the asshole so big, the moment the hole open, everything come out. CB farking flood the engine with fuel lor... now now... before you start to preach like sam... it is my cb duty to inform you that the engineers in toyota and subaru also not stupid lah... got something call endurance and stress test lor... they let the farking engine run like they own kuwait oil wells... then after donkey hours later, they check the injectors and all other more common parts like pistons and stuff... so, you bet they know about slug blah blah blah... anyway, our usual RON 98, 95 etc contains detergent to clean the injectors. Not just caltex la... so, fark ok... but, what better way to prove it than to have someone tried it already....
Run-in engine. WTF is that... it is also to allow all these CB carbon and shit build-up to equlibrum. Meaning, after 5000 km or so, I expect to retune this TS again. Fark.
But, ok lah... tuning is fun and dinner at jalan kayu also not bad.
Last night, CB sam tell me he studied Law. knn... not study lor... its Study LAW. Wah... knn, my eye pop out, jaws wide open until bubble in my mouth... staring at his sibeh solomen face in disbelief... wah... then hor... to prove he smarter than me, he asked me.
Sam, "ok. I ask you. Money lending need license or not?"
blinking like Albert eistien at me with that poker face
Me, "need Lar. cb"
Sam, "No Need! Reallyyyyyy.... hee hee hee hee hee" covers his mouth and smiling behind his hands, so damn proud he prove my stupidity He was so sure that he made me felt damn farking silly and stupid.
He then turn to our TS friend. "Eh, what you think" Our TS friend is studying law in school now...
TS friend, "No need..."
WOW... I ate the humble pie man... cb.
If I got no dick, I might just blush to death on the spot. Then, I said, " For the sake of PRIDE, I will prove you wrong. I too studied law. Seriously. And for the sake of my farking pride, I will prove you wrong and not just that. I will put it on my blog site for eternal rememberence!"
He also say no need paid up capital blah blah ... hmm... ok... fine.
They all laughed at my arrogance and feeble attempts to save my embarrassment. I told sam, he is faking outdated liaoz. And, he doesnt read. hahaha... nevermind, i gentleman one... He even describes to me his experiences with his own former credit company, CID, RCB and all the likes of CB ABCDEFG... so,... pls.
Website to Singapore statues online
Chapter 188 -> Moneylenders Act from ministry of law
Rule 3. Security deposit placed with Accountant-Genral under section 5(5)(C)...... so how much deposit...
license is $1200 under rule 5 per year.
From sillypore moneylener's license, heres the requirements:
The following are some of the criteria for the grant of a Moneylender's licence:
...
the applicant and every person who is or will be responsible for the management of the business is familiar with the provisions of the Moneylenders Act 2008 and its Rules;
the proposed business premises to be licensed is suitable for the conduct of the moneylending business; and
a security deposit of $20,000 for every place of business for the proper conduct of the business, has been placed with the Accountant-General. The security deposit is to be provided in the form of an irrevocable Banker’s Guarantee upon approval of your application.
Got it from Insolvency and Public Trustee's Office website, under registry of moneylenders.
So, who is the bodoh now... hahaha... Then, he said things about hire purchases... hiaz... i think i won't continue with this law law thing here...
Pride!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Race! Nick vs White suzuki swift
Race! Nick vs White suzuki swift turbo
We already know whats in Nick's car and this evening, we have one of the fastest white suzuki swift turbo pitting against Nick's suzuki swift sport turbo at the start line. Whitey has done up quite a bit on his car that you can safely call it a swift sport if it make you feel better. Inside whitey, we have already suspected a swift sport engine, we know for sure it has cosmetic head gaskets to lower the compression ratio to 9.5:1 in comparison to Nick's 11:1 compression ratio, the difference in compression ratio is massive. With a lowered compression of 9.5, boosting 1.3 bars is not an issue. So, you have Nick boost 0.7 bars this evening, while whitey, well, lets just say he boosted 0.8 bars :)
Whitey has a suzuki swift sport gear box, with a modifed final drive which means the car with the additional bhp now pulls longer and harder than before. Reaching top speed on this ride is not a problem. Turbo, it will be a TD04 on whitey and vf8 on Nick's ride. Both runs with similarly sized intercooler except that the way the piping runs around the car is different, the setup on both cars is also significantly different. Sam has his uncanny way of twisting and turning the pipings and his signature argon welding marks can be easily recognised by connosieurs island wide.
History on whitey tells us that he used to be a common sight in drag races and it is only lately that he seemed to have mellowed down a little, but watching him race, the years of racing experience made his car stood out, making nick's first run look like a dog.
Both cars starts off as normal and upon crossing the imaginary starting line, both cars will sprint for the remaining 15 lamp post. Rolling start. Run 1 starts off with nick looking farking newbie. hahaha... Whitey's seasoned drag race experience sends his swift sport sprinting forward with Gusto! Dunno what the fark nick was doing, then out of no where, Nick woke up from slumber, he floors the accelerator. That moment, the entire race strip was filled with Nick's powervalve exploding ear deafening exhaust into the serene nightscape. I stood up unto the road's railing inching forward.
Before the race, I bet on Nick to win. Sam on the other hand, betted on Whitey. His bet on whitey sends butterfly in my stomach, deep down, I hoped for Nick, my bet usually tied to reasons that is not related to hardware, which made me bet on the car I tuned mostly. For sam, it is about winning. Winning the farking bet. His bet is usually tied to hardware, turbo and usually never about emotions, winning the bet is paramount mostly.
Nick clears gear 2 closing the gap from 2 car length to half car length behind whitey. Nick engages gear 3 and clearly lacking the speed in gear shifts, whitey inches forward to extend the distance with Nick trailing now by 1 car length, Nick forces the car to sprint harder, this time, closing in to the original half car length, a little more, he will be side by side with whitey, 2 lamp post remains, nick fails to close in and lost race 1.
"chee bye" I shouted. Sam laughing away, wide smiles and very happy with his predicament. "lam par la..." Knn, really CB feeling lor. Although I know nobody expected Nick to win this race, as a matter of fact, even whitey is here to tear Nick. Everyone expected this to be a simple bench marking session for nick, with whitey's scrutinizing Nick's turbo kit, and commenting negatively on the way nick's car has been setup, everyone was here to see whitey's car perform. Nobody expected a side-by-side, half car length lost. But, for being so attached to Nick's ride, I felt like fark.
Nick and whitey stopped by the road side 50 m in front of us, alighted to talk cock. hahaha... race 2 commences shortly.
Both cars rolling to starting line. This time, CB nick sprints together with whitey. Nick shot in front by 1 car length. Excellent start. This CB nick is a fast learner I admitted! But before I mouthed the words, Nick hits 7000 rpm rev cut. Powervalve announces nick mistake without a tinge of embarrasement. CB! Gear 3 engages after 4 counts of rev cut blast, whitey closes in on nick pulverized his head start advantage to half car length behind Nick. Nick wacks the car hard and turbo spools very very hard to overcome the lost momentum of his 1050kg ride and maintained the half car length advantage with the rpms sweeping past 6500 rpm and with the stress and andrenaline of seeing himself in front, the engagement of gear 4 is Pro! Zero lost in momentum. One fluid motion. Gear 4. Nick floors the accelerator and guns past the finishing line. I punched wildly in the air as Nick's powervalve blasted by! "CB! WIN!!" I was thrusting my dick on the railing celebrating the win!
"Wow! damn fast lor" sam said. "I farking dun care lor! hahaha..." I said laughing.
Race 3. Nick's gaining massive experience and he looks born for andrenaline. My heart was pounding hard with thought on engine longevity as these 2 farker seems to be testing and pushing their engines to the farking limit. Then we heard Nick's exhaust letting off some strange bubbling sound! " Fark! " Sam said. "what? similan chieow?" I asked. "Nick's engine gone liaoz"... "Fark!" I said.
Rolling to the start line... and GO! Nick's gear shift on 2 still needs some serious tutorial by xiao jian. Nick is oblivious to the condition of his engine and guns like he races for a living. Again, Nick crosses the finishing line first. This time, the mix feelings of hardware failure and joy of winning inter-twines itself. Nick senses our mixed feeling.... sam asked, "hey! did you hear the engine bubbling sound?"
Nick, " When?"
sam " when you drove past us just now on the opposite side"
nick " ooorrr....thats because I hit rev-cut... forgot to change gear..."
***slap head***
now all of us beaming with joy and andrenaline, laughing and making all sorts of cb and knn things... then when whitey drove up, the feeling was smoothered.... well, out of respect and sportmanship... No, its just trying not to be a CB asshole.... hahaha
Whitey's seasoned racing experiences is evident as he alighted with composed countenance. No expression. Lighted his malboro, and congratulated Nick. Hand shakes and off we go for kopi.
Kopi shop talk is kopi shop talk, full of crap and rubbish... Mostly I can see that whitey is a popular figure in this community and well respected among them.
From someone who did so much, knows so much and seen so much, someone who once scrutinized nick's setup, to say this. I admit. Very Man! He even recommended nick a few tip on modifications to enhance his ride further. That too received approving nods from sam and me... a better final drive for Nick. 1.5 way LSD. kekeke....
Anyway. this evening, a time of celebration, we know, out there, there is another higher mountain, but like whitey said, sometimes, making the car too fast and be a pain to drive without endangering lives. He said to make it faster would be insane... which indirectly mean nick's has reached a mental bhp cut?.... thats tomorrow I guess... tonight. We celebrate.
Congrates to Nick! That made our day.
We already know whats in Nick's car and this evening, we have one of the fastest white suzuki swift turbo pitting against Nick's suzuki swift sport turbo at the start line. Whitey has done up quite a bit on his car that you can safely call it a swift sport if it make you feel better. Inside whitey, we have already suspected a swift sport engine, we know for sure it has cosmetic head gaskets to lower the compression ratio to 9.5:1 in comparison to Nick's 11:1 compression ratio, the difference in compression ratio is massive. With a lowered compression of 9.5, boosting 1.3 bars is not an issue. So, you have Nick boost 0.7 bars this evening, while whitey, well, lets just say he boosted 0.8 bars :)
Whitey has a suzuki swift sport gear box, with a modifed final drive which means the car with the additional bhp now pulls longer and harder than before. Reaching top speed on this ride is not a problem. Turbo, it will be a TD04 on whitey and vf8 on Nick's ride. Both runs with similarly sized intercooler except that the way the piping runs around the car is different, the setup on both cars is also significantly different. Sam has his uncanny way of twisting and turning the pipings and his signature argon welding marks can be easily recognised by connosieurs island wide.
History on whitey tells us that he used to be a common sight in drag races and it is only lately that he seemed to have mellowed down a little, but watching him race, the years of racing experience made his car stood out, making nick's first run look like a dog.
Both cars starts off as normal and upon crossing the imaginary starting line, both cars will sprint for the remaining 15 lamp post. Rolling start. Run 1 starts off with nick looking farking newbie. hahaha... Whitey's seasoned drag race experience sends his swift sport sprinting forward with Gusto! Dunno what the fark nick was doing, then out of no where, Nick woke up from slumber, he floors the accelerator. That moment, the entire race strip was filled with Nick's powervalve exploding ear deafening exhaust into the serene nightscape. I stood up unto the road's railing inching forward.
Before the race, I bet on Nick to win. Sam on the other hand, betted on Whitey. His bet on whitey sends butterfly in my stomach, deep down, I hoped for Nick, my bet usually tied to reasons that is not related to hardware, which made me bet on the car I tuned mostly. For sam, it is about winning. Winning the farking bet. His bet is usually tied to hardware, turbo and usually never about emotions, winning the bet is paramount mostly.
Nick clears gear 2 closing the gap from 2 car length to half car length behind whitey. Nick engages gear 3 and clearly lacking the speed in gear shifts, whitey inches forward to extend the distance with Nick trailing now by 1 car length, Nick forces the car to sprint harder, this time, closing in to the original half car length, a little more, he will be side by side with whitey, 2 lamp post remains, nick fails to close in and lost race 1.
"chee bye" I shouted. Sam laughing away, wide smiles and very happy with his predicament. "lam par la..." Knn, really CB feeling lor. Although I know nobody expected Nick to win this race, as a matter of fact, even whitey is here to tear Nick. Everyone expected this to be a simple bench marking session for nick, with whitey's scrutinizing Nick's turbo kit, and commenting negatively on the way nick's car has been setup, everyone was here to see whitey's car perform. Nobody expected a side-by-side, half car length lost. But, for being so attached to Nick's ride, I felt like fark.
Nick and whitey stopped by the road side 50 m in front of us, alighted to talk cock. hahaha... race 2 commences shortly.
Both cars rolling to starting line. This time, CB nick sprints together with whitey. Nick shot in front by 1 car length. Excellent start. This CB nick is a fast learner I admitted! But before I mouthed the words, Nick hits 7000 rpm rev cut. Powervalve announces nick mistake without a tinge of embarrasement. CB! Gear 3 engages after 4 counts of rev cut blast, whitey closes in on nick pulverized his head start advantage to half car length behind Nick. Nick wacks the car hard and turbo spools very very hard to overcome the lost momentum of his 1050kg ride and maintained the half car length advantage with the rpms sweeping past 6500 rpm and with the stress and andrenaline of seeing himself in front, the engagement of gear 4 is Pro! Zero lost in momentum. One fluid motion. Gear 4. Nick floors the accelerator and guns past the finishing line. I punched wildly in the air as Nick's powervalve blasted by! "CB! WIN!!" I was thrusting my dick on the railing celebrating the win!
"Wow! damn fast lor" sam said. "I farking dun care lor! hahaha..." I said laughing.
Race 3. Nick's gaining massive experience and he looks born for andrenaline. My heart was pounding hard with thought on engine longevity as these 2 farker seems to be testing and pushing their engines to the farking limit. Then we heard Nick's exhaust letting off some strange bubbling sound! " Fark! " Sam said. "what? similan chieow?" I asked. "Nick's engine gone liaoz"... "Fark!" I said.
Rolling to the start line... and GO! Nick's gear shift on 2 still needs some serious tutorial by xiao jian. Nick is oblivious to the condition of his engine and guns like he races for a living. Again, Nick crosses the finishing line first. This time, the mix feelings of hardware failure and joy of winning inter-twines itself. Nick senses our mixed feeling.... sam asked, "hey! did you hear the engine bubbling sound?"
Nick, " When?"
sam " when you drove past us just now on the opposite side"
nick " ooorrr....thats because I hit rev-cut... forgot to change gear..."
***slap head***
now all of us beaming with joy and andrenaline, laughing and making all sorts of cb and knn things... then when whitey drove up, the feeling was smoothered.... well, out of respect and sportmanship... No, its just trying not to be a CB asshole.... hahaha
Whitey's seasoned racing experiences is evident as he alighted with composed countenance. No expression. Lighted his malboro, and congratulated Nick. Hand shakes and off we go for kopi.
Kopi shop talk is kopi shop talk, full of crap and rubbish... Mostly I can see that whitey is a popular figure in this community and well respected among them.
From someone who did so much, knows so much and seen so much, someone who once scrutinized nick's setup, to say this. I admit. Very Man! He even recommended nick a few tip on modifications to enhance his ride further. That too received approving nods from sam and me... a better final drive for Nick. 1.5 way LSD. kekeke....
Anyway. this evening, a time of celebration, we know, out there, there is another higher mountain, but like whitey said, sometimes, making the car too fast and be a pain to drive without endangering lives. He said to make it faster would be insane... which indirectly mean nick's has reached a mental bhp cut?.... thats tomorrow I guess... tonight. We celebrate.
Congrates to Nick! That made our day.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Ben's Honda Civic 1.6 NA
Ben's Honda Civic 1.6 NA
Yesterday was suppose to be only touching up lawrence's car running on hydra nemesis,... Ben called up that evening to request for tuning services for his honda civic. Ben, physically challenged has an extreme passion for cars. His eyes is filled with compassion and very soft spoken. In his car, farking more fierce than mine by far. Some of the things you find here can make any car enthu drool or masturbate, whichever produces more pleasure.
We have mugen body kit, mugen oil cap,... Hey, dun laugh la CB... you think the oil cap cheap izzit?... knn... go check how much mugen charge for oil cap and you will surely faint. More tiong parts? Have!
AP racing 6 pot 4 brakes. Fierce boh? hahaha... yes, if the exhuast pipe wasnt so damn hot, I bet sam would go behind and screw the pipe... hahaha... People use 2 point lateral strut bars, this ride? 4 point A frame strut bars. The best la brudder.
Meters? Have. Defi triple meters with genome module. Rims? 18 inch. Race compound tyres.
ECU, we have Emanage Ultimate! Yes, the best. Tuning? The person who tuned this ride previously is beyond words. The car stalls when moving off traffic! Jerks like a horse. The previous tuner magically produced 200 bhp on this 1.6 NA and the moment sam saw the dyno chart, his eyes popped out, jaws open with a pop sound and told Ben, "... I cannot produce 200 bhp leh..." hahaha... The dyno chart looks like shit to me lor... I said, ".. you only do this to people you dun like la... " That idoit tuner is a Free-Lan tuner. Really lan chieow la... Ben only wanted better drivability and ended up riding a horse...
This cb sam sometimes really nothing better to do, during tuning, he wanted to test the hand lever that controls the brakes and accelerator... "I wonder how this works?" Sam said, "CB la brudder... you really CB leh... please don't experiment leh... " I farked him la... very fun to play meh? really cb lor... like small kid like that. knn...
Tuning a car with modified muffler and air intake is blase. The previous tuner spent 2 hours on the dyno machine tuning Ben's ride. I dunno what he did... maybe he got so excited he went to wack the exhaust pipe... hahaha... imagine putting the tuner's hand on the boot and rubs it in circular motion, eyes rolling, mouth wide open, opening the top button on his jeans, ripped the zipper down and held his dick with thumb and index finger, you slot it into the exhuast pipe. Vigorously slamming his pelvis against the rear, feeling the ribbed banana pulling and pushing against the grains of the pipe, ignoring the almost consuming feverish heat from the exhaust, the Tuna continued like no tomorrow, his excitment wouldnt be cut short because of early ejaculation, because after 2 hours of this fervent pleasure, every drop of liquid would have shot out like a projectile. Its during this time, the car's mutiple orgasm created the kind of stock market dyno chart, and when the orgasm reached its climax, woooh, 200 bhp is an understatement!
For boring me and sam, there wasnt anything like that... hahaha... it took us 15 mins to finish the job. And, when sam requested to try out the previous mapping, god! when he floored the accelerator, the engine detonated! It felt like someone jabbed you with a stun gun leh... "WOOH!!!" both of us shouted! hahaha... the electrifying effect of detonation!
Usually, owner follows us to go tuning together, so, owner will get the first hand experience of kenna stun also... hahaha... Then, when moving off traffic, the car jerks away like it was trying to tell you how much she missed the time that some idoit carressed her butt. Anyway... she not our type... hahaha...
Owner sms us to let us know his appreciation of whats done. Very happy with the results. He still owe us kopi...
Yesterday was suppose to be only touching up lawrence's car running on hydra nemesis,... Ben called up that evening to request for tuning services for his honda civic. Ben, physically challenged has an extreme passion for cars. His eyes is filled with compassion and very soft spoken. In his car, farking more fierce than mine by far. Some of the things you find here can make any car enthu drool or masturbate, whichever produces more pleasure.
We have mugen body kit, mugen oil cap,... Hey, dun laugh la CB... you think the oil cap cheap izzit?... knn... go check how much mugen charge for oil cap and you will surely faint. More tiong parts? Have!
AP racing 6 pot 4 brakes. Fierce boh? hahaha... yes, if the exhuast pipe wasnt so damn hot, I bet sam would go behind and screw the pipe... hahaha... People use 2 point lateral strut bars, this ride? 4 point A frame strut bars. The best la brudder.
Meters? Have. Defi triple meters with genome module. Rims? 18 inch. Race compound tyres.
ECU, we have Emanage Ultimate! Yes, the best. Tuning? The person who tuned this ride previously is beyond words. The car stalls when moving off traffic! Jerks like a horse. The previous tuner magically produced 200 bhp on this 1.6 NA and the moment sam saw the dyno chart, his eyes popped out, jaws open with a pop sound and told Ben, "... I cannot produce 200 bhp leh..." hahaha... The dyno chart looks like shit to me lor... I said, ".. you only do this to people you dun like la... " That idoit tuner is a Free-Lan tuner. Really lan chieow la... Ben only wanted better drivability and ended up riding a horse...
This cb sam sometimes really nothing better to do, during tuning, he wanted to test the hand lever that controls the brakes and accelerator... "I wonder how this works?" Sam said, "CB la brudder... you really CB leh... please don't experiment leh... " I farked him la... very fun to play meh? really cb lor... like small kid like that. knn...
Tuning a car with modified muffler and air intake is blase. The previous tuner spent 2 hours on the dyno machine tuning Ben's ride. I dunno what he did... maybe he got so excited he went to wack the exhaust pipe... hahaha... imagine putting the tuner's hand on the boot and rubs it in circular motion, eyes rolling, mouth wide open, opening the top button on his jeans, ripped the zipper down and held his dick with thumb and index finger, you slot it into the exhuast pipe. Vigorously slamming his pelvis against the rear, feeling the ribbed banana pulling and pushing against the grains of the pipe, ignoring the almost consuming feverish heat from the exhaust, the Tuna continued like no tomorrow, his excitment wouldnt be cut short because of early ejaculation, because after 2 hours of this fervent pleasure, every drop of liquid would have shot out like a projectile. Its during this time, the car's mutiple orgasm created the kind of stock market dyno chart, and when the orgasm reached its climax, woooh, 200 bhp is an understatement!
For boring me and sam, there wasnt anything like that... hahaha... it took us 15 mins to finish the job. And, when sam requested to try out the previous mapping, god! when he floored the accelerator, the engine detonated! It felt like someone jabbed you with a stun gun leh... "WOOH!!!" both of us shouted! hahaha... the electrifying effect of detonation!
Usually, owner follows us to go tuning together, so, owner will get the first hand experience of kenna stun also... hahaha... Then, when moving off traffic, the car jerks away like it was trying to tell you how much she missed the time that some idoit carressed her butt. Anyway... she not our type... hahaha...
Owner sms us to let us know his appreciation of whats done. Very happy with the results. He still owe us kopi...
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Nick's Suzuki swift sport Turbo
Nick's Suzuki swift sport Turbo
Nick, a perculiar fella indeed... dressed in round neck Ts, designer's touch is evident in his bearings, very friendly chap, those type that chicks would open their legs for and come back beggin for more, talking to him is a pleasant experience, one that you would check the passenger's seat for stain marks before seating... nah... just kidding... hahaha... usually the back seat la... hahaha... cb...
Here, we put in a huge intercooler, IHI vf-8 turbo, mega injectors, wastegate, powervalve and similan jiow also have la... Limited edition HKS EVC boost controller, people use samco silicon pipe, he use HKS silicon pipe, then the new HKS SSQV which is black in colour and cost a bomb too, then he have casted exhaust manifold, meshed filter, high grade stainless steel pipes everywhere, ecu wise, it is emanage ultimate, thick 2.5" Aluminium radiator, Defi genome meters, suspensions, CB, alot alot more la... if I keep going, I think the whole farking blog will be filled with all his parts.
Nick saw the entire process of starting up the car... Not before I prepared him mentally of what to expect, still I can see the familiar shocked expressions when the car started up. He left only when things started to appear normal. hahaha... those who have seen this part of the tuning process will feel likewise also... tramatising.
Swift sport comes with semi forged pistons and con-rods, what we wanna do here is get a 200 bhp on this ride and smile your way home. On a 1050 kg ride, excellent handling, swift sport is a formidable track car, for this, we tuned this ride track-ready.
Gear 1, sam floors the accelerator, turbo lags for the first 3000 rpm, at 3500 rpm, the audible turbo relentlessly spooling forces air into the engine, we hardly felt the car's rear suspension squart and the rpm takes an immediate swipe at the dashboard. I bet a 400 nm of torque on this ride. Rpm hit 7500 rpm instantly on gear 1 complements of close ratio gearing. Gear 2 engages flawlessly, it seems like farker sam have been practising on his civic turbo, rpm takes another swipe, wastegate roaring away in the middle of the night, mixing an octave higher with powervalve, singing while the car surges forward. Gear 3, boost read an onslaught from the turbo, the engine roars as the wheel spin on every uneven bumps. Gear 4, all I think about is when Sam is going to let go the throttle. CB.
It is only when sam releases the throttle and brake that I realised how fast we were actually flying at. The swift sport engineering for driver's prespective is high-speed bias, giving the driver excessive confidence, no doubt the handling and braking power for this 1 ton ride is fabulous, it still sends cold chill down my spine to realise how fast we were sprinting.
I left last minute instructions to sam to remind the owner on how to handle this ride and what to expect in the coming months. "We've created another monster" sam said with a smurk.
Ah fah... hahaha... funny guy, he opens the bonnet and admire the engine bay. In chinese, he say "shin sang" his creations... I shouted profanity and with my hand in front of my dick I started to shake back-forth asking him to wank and shoot into the turbo.... hahaha... Again he admired the engine and said some chinese love poems to the engine, and again but with more excitement, I shake my upfaced palms, thumbs touching finger and "ahhhh.... ahhh..." hahaha... "quickly quickly... " aim for the turbo ... hahaha... He showed me the middle finger with his brows touching each other... haha... farker must have been poisoned by sam...
before you start scrutinizing my home made video, and call it a lousy cheapo production, you should be informed that this sillypore funniest home video is made using my laptop's webcam. yes, the same laptop that tune your car, is the same laptop filming his piece of art. Look, i left my king-kong camera at home so, make do with this will-ya... the purple thing is the mouth of the turbo which Ah-fah suppose to aim, the shiny piece of metal in front is called the intercooler... a little too big la... but, looks more tiong... hahaha... nick wants performance, sam wants monster look... so... that piece of intercooler fits and filled the span of the front bumper's opening. That ensures all the cool air rams it hard.
Fine, i'll improve on my video and picturistic aspect of life. You know, I was explaining some tuning parameters to Doctor last night, and for once, it really felt awkward talking to a medical doctor and sort of explaining why this and that in the mappings, its like teaching daddy how to fark... hahaha... how many of you out there actually gets a chance to preach to a Doctor? hahaha... I tell you SHIOK ah!... hahaha... make me feel like a prof. of something... eh, fark la... I enjoy it... yah... lame.. I know, but, it does feel good...
Dr. wilson was there last evening, PHD in economics... and he asked me about malaysian's economic according to paul krugman... hey, when I was explaining this to Sam, I could explain it like I know everything... but, in front of wilson, omg, the balls just shrink a little, eyes not meeting his, and I ommited a mega chunk of my memorised paragraphs from the book on depression economics. I felt the need to grasp for more air and his politeness in the discussion didnt helped the matter at all.
Last evening, our white swift sport was there changing his clutch... he raced with his friend's 20k modification swift sport, packed with forged internals, 1.2 bar of boost, vf34 turbo blah blah... he lost by 2 car length. We know jolly well that ours gonna lose that race, but 2 car length is a little too short for a short hatchback huh? Ok, play fair, ours has methanol injection kit, powervalve, td04 turbo and low boost of 0.8 bars, now with exedy 3 pug racing clutch. He's now discussing on building a forged engine, not sure when though... evil!
Nick, a perculiar fella indeed... dressed in round neck Ts, designer's touch is evident in his bearings, very friendly chap, those type that chicks would open their legs for and come back beggin for more, talking to him is a pleasant experience, one that you would check the passenger's seat for stain marks before seating... nah... just kidding... hahaha... usually the back seat la... hahaha... cb...
Here, we put in a huge intercooler, IHI vf-8 turbo, mega injectors, wastegate, powervalve and similan jiow also have la... Limited edition HKS EVC boost controller, people use samco silicon pipe, he use HKS silicon pipe, then the new HKS SSQV which is black in colour and cost a bomb too, then he have casted exhaust manifold, meshed filter, high grade stainless steel pipes everywhere, ecu wise, it is emanage ultimate, thick 2.5" Aluminium radiator, Defi genome meters, suspensions, CB, alot alot more la... if I keep going, I think the whole farking blog will be filled with all his parts.
Nick saw the entire process of starting up the car... Not before I prepared him mentally of what to expect, still I can see the familiar shocked expressions when the car started up. He left only when things started to appear normal. hahaha... those who have seen this part of the tuning process will feel likewise also... tramatising.
Swift sport comes with semi forged pistons and con-rods, what we wanna do here is get a 200 bhp on this ride and smile your way home. On a 1050 kg ride, excellent handling, swift sport is a formidable track car, for this, we tuned this ride track-ready.
Gear 1, sam floors the accelerator, turbo lags for the first 3000 rpm, at 3500 rpm, the audible turbo relentlessly spooling forces air into the engine, we hardly felt the car's rear suspension squart and the rpm takes an immediate swipe at the dashboard. I bet a 400 nm of torque on this ride. Rpm hit 7500 rpm instantly on gear 1 complements of close ratio gearing. Gear 2 engages flawlessly, it seems like farker sam have been practising on his civic turbo, rpm takes another swipe, wastegate roaring away in the middle of the night, mixing an octave higher with powervalve, singing while the car surges forward. Gear 3, boost read an onslaught from the turbo, the engine roars as the wheel spin on every uneven bumps. Gear 4, all I think about is when Sam is going to let go the throttle. CB.
It is only when sam releases the throttle and brake that I realised how fast we were actually flying at. The swift sport engineering for driver's prespective is high-speed bias, giving the driver excessive confidence, no doubt the handling and braking power for this 1 ton ride is fabulous, it still sends cold chill down my spine to realise how fast we were sprinting.
I left last minute instructions to sam to remind the owner on how to handle this ride and what to expect in the coming months. "We've created another monster" sam said with a smurk.
Ah fah... hahaha... funny guy, he opens the bonnet and admire the engine bay. In chinese, he say "shin sang" his creations... I shouted profanity and with my hand in front of my dick I started to shake back-forth asking him to wank and shoot into the turbo.... hahaha... Again he admired the engine and said some chinese love poems to the engine, and again but with more excitement, I shake my upfaced palms, thumbs touching finger and "ahhhh.... ahhh..." hahaha... "quickly quickly... " aim for the turbo ... hahaha... He showed me the middle finger with his brows touching each other... haha... farker must have been poisoned by sam...
before you start scrutinizing my home made video, and call it a lousy cheapo production, you should be informed that this sillypore funniest home video is made using my laptop's webcam. yes, the same laptop that tune your car, is the same laptop filming his piece of art. Look, i left my king-kong camera at home so, make do with this will-ya... the purple thing is the mouth of the turbo which Ah-fah suppose to aim, the shiny piece of metal in front is called the intercooler... a little too big la... but, looks more tiong... hahaha... nick wants performance, sam wants monster look... so... that piece of intercooler fits and filled the span of the front bumper's opening. That ensures all the cool air rams it hard.
Fine, i'll improve on my video and picturistic aspect of life. You know, I was explaining some tuning parameters to Doctor last night, and for once, it really felt awkward talking to a medical doctor and sort of explaining why this and that in the mappings, its like teaching daddy how to fark... hahaha... how many of you out there actually gets a chance to preach to a Doctor? hahaha... I tell you SHIOK ah!... hahaha... make me feel like a prof. of something... eh, fark la... I enjoy it... yah... lame.. I know, but, it does feel good...
Dr. wilson was there last evening, PHD in economics... and he asked me about malaysian's economic according to paul krugman... hey, when I was explaining this to Sam, I could explain it like I know everything... but, in front of wilson, omg, the balls just shrink a little, eyes not meeting his, and I ommited a mega chunk of my memorised paragraphs from the book on depression economics. I felt the need to grasp for more air and his politeness in the discussion didnt helped the matter at all.
Last evening, our white swift sport was there changing his clutch... he raced with his friend's 20k modification swift sport, packed with forged internals, 1.2 bar of boost, vf34 turbo blah blah... he lost by 2 car length. We know jolly well that ours gonna lose that race, but 2 car length is a little too short for a short hatchback huh? Ok, play fair, ours has methanol injection kit, powervalve, td04 turbo and low boost of 0.8 bars, now with exedy 3 pug racing clutch. He's now discussing on building a forged engine, not sure when though... evil!
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